


Thantophobia

by Thundersnow (pieprincess_andthe_fallenangel)



Series: Break the ice Between Us [2]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Aging, Aging Up, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Barry Allen, BAMF Leonard Snart, BAMF Lisa Snart, Blow Jobs, Caitlin and Cisco love to bicker, Canon Compliant, Did I Mention Angst?, Earth-25, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Humour, Len is Team Flash, Leonard Snart isn't a criminal, Lisa is also Team Flash, M/M, Masturbation, Mind Control, Public Blow Jobs, Public Hand Jobs, Self Harm, Semi-Public Sex, Series Spoilers, Sexual Tension, Sort of? - Freeform, Team Arrow, Various Kinks, Voyeurism, but it'll get better i promise, coffee shop AU, manipulation through fear, sort of, temporary insanity, though their names aren't actually Snart in this AU, why do americans spell ageing as aging? It looks so odd to me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-10
Updated: 2018-02-01
Packaged: 2018-08-21 18:08:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 36,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8255362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pieprincess_andthe_fallenangel/pseuds/Thundersnow
Summary: “Freeze,” Barry heard Len drawl over the comms as he arrived with Lisa at the jewellery store. Len was decked out in his superhero outfit while pointing his cold gun at the thief and Lisa, quick to recover from being carried at superspeed, lifted her gold gun at the man as well.“Why don’t you be as good as gold and drop that bag,” she quipped.“Is that ice really worth your freedom?” Len continued and Barry sighed as the robber looked frantically between Golden Glider and Captain Cold, his hand twitching towards the gun on his belt.“Do you have to do this every time?” Barry muttered at the same time that Cisco piped up over the comms with: “do they remind anyone else of Team Rocket or is it just me?”-Just as his relationship with Len begins to settle, a meta-human with a personal grudge against Barry forces him to face his fears or risk losing everyone that he loves.





	1. Everything's Gonna be cool this Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> [Last edited to remove mistakes: 07/01/2018]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, all. This fic starts off about three months after Lightning Hot finished and all the legal issues surrounding Len’s involvement with his father’s crimes have already been sorted and they’re basically just trying to move past it all. If you’ve not already read [Lightning Hot (Your Coffee That Is)](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6406441/chapters/14666263) then I suggest reading it first, because this could be read as a stand-alone fic but I wouldn’t recommend it that way.

Len didn't feel nervous often. He hated feeling like that. It made him feel like he was a child again and brought back memories of an abusive father. So whenever he started to feel nerves bubbling in his stomach he shut them down. It wasn't easy at first, training his body to react the way he needed it to, but with practice and a lot of time, it got easier. Slowly his confidence stopped being an illusion that he put on to make others happy, and eventually it just became who he was.

But not today. Today Len was a mess.

He stared down at the pot on the stove and lifted the lid to stir the food that was bubbling away: beef bourguignon, his mother's favourite. Not his biological mother's, of course, Len didn't even know what _she_ looked like. She left when he was three and never came back. He remembered wishing as a child that she would come home to rescue him from Lewis… but she never did. And eventually, Len stopped dreaming that she ever would.

No, this meal wasn't for her. This meal was for his _real_ parents: the couple who had adopted him and Lisa, when they were finally taken away from Lewis Snart, and give them another shot at a happy life.

It didn't seem possible at first… Lewis had left his scars on his children and not all of them were physical. But, somehow, it had worked. Len's life was far from perfect but he was _happy_. Even now.

Len put the lid back on the pot. It still had about an hour to go before it was finished and his parents would be here in half of that time.

"That smells _amazing_ ," Barry moaned in the doorway before moving forward and wrapping his arms around Len from behind. The younger man rested his head on Len's shoulder and the heat from his body relaxed Len slightly. Len leaned back against his boyfriend's touch for a moment before moving to open one of his cupboards. He took out two of the special energy bars that Cisco made for Barry and shoved them into his boyfriend's hands.

"Eat," he ordered because he didn't exactly have a good excuse to tell his parents about why his new boyfriend could eat more than all of them combined and still have room for dessert. Barry rolled his eyes but complied, unwrapping the bars and shoving half of one into his mouth. His cheeks were big and round as he grinned and Len tried his best to keep a straight face. "That's disgusting, Barry," he drawled and Barry shook his head.

"But you still love me," he muttered after he finished his mouthful and Len shrugged. He moved to chopping the potatoes and Barry lingered behind him, fidgeting slightly. Len looked Barry over and noticed his tense shoulders and the smile that didn't quite reach his eyes… Barry wore his emotions on his sleeve and Len didn't know if that was something he would ever be capable of again.

He wished that he could be as open with Barry as Barry was with him; but it was difficult when he had been abused, emotionally and physically, for the first seventeen years of his life whenever he'd tried to express his feelings. Lewis Snart had been a big fan of the 'children should be seen, not heard' concept.

"You look nervous," Len commented as he scooped the contents of his chopping board into a new pot.

"I'm not very good at meeting the parents," Barry admitted with a warm laugh that was just a little too high pitched to be considered at ease. Len put down everything he was holding and turned back to his boyfriend. He leaned forward and tugged Barry in for a soft kiss.

"They're going to love you," he whispered and watched as colour spread across Barry's cheeks.

"What about you?" Barry muttered and Len smirked.

"I thought we'd already established that I love you, Barry," he drawled and Barry rolled his eyes, even as his grin widened.

"You know what I mean!" Barry accused. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm…" _fine_ , he was going to say. But he stopped himself. If he didn't start being more open with Barry, then he was concerned that he would lose him. It wasn't going to be easy, but Len had to start making an effort. "Worried," he eventually admitted, though he was sure that none of his emotions showed on his face or in his stance. Barry took Len's hand and rubbed slow circles into his skin with his thumb.

"You know that they're not going to blame you for what happened," Barry insisted quietly. "None of it was your fault."

Len nodded. Logically he knew that Barry was right, but it didn't change the fact that Lewis Snart had planted a bomb inside of his little sister so that he could blackmail Len into working with him. It had taken Cisco and Caitlin testifying that Len was under duress during his time working with Lewis, for the charges against him to be dropped. Mara and Tony Neumann had been on a cruise for the past several months and so they'd been a little bit out of reach when Lewis came back. So now, almost three months later, Len finally had to tell them.

Len felt cold inside whenever he remembered those weeks of sneaking behind Barry's and Lisa's backs to keep them safe. The memories were all too vivid with Len's eidetic recollection and they left him with the feeling of a weight on his chest. But everything had worked out in the end. Once Barry and Lisa had saved him from the metahuman that Lewis had flogged him off to…

Len turned the heat on for the potatoes and stared into the pot as the water began to boil. He owed Barry so much, not just for saving his life but for saving Lisa's too. Len moved back from the stove and was broken out of his reverie when Barry started speaking again.

"Okay, prep me," he said with a nod and Len grinned devilishly.

"Right now, Barry? I hardly think we have time for _that_." Len was rewarded with another blush. It was easy to forget how easily Barry became flustered when he wasn't out there running around and saving people's lives as the Flash.

"Not… I… I wasn't talking about _sex_!" Barry stumbled, though the way his eyes darkened seemed to suggest that he would be more than happy to sneak off to the bedroom for ten minutes. He shook his head as though clearing the thoughts from his mind. "Prep me on your parents. You've not told me all that much about them. Are there any topics that I should steer clear of?" He asked and Len thought for a moment.

"Before they retired my mum was a chef and my dad was a high school German language teacher, those are both safe topics. But don't mention politics or else my mum will rant throughout the entire meal."

Before either of them could say anything else, there was a soft knock on Len's apartment door. Barry had been gently tapping against the counter but now he stopped suddenly and straightened up. He looked like he was trying to exude confidence but his eyes were just a little too wide. Len gave Barry a soft smile and his boyfriend followed him as he moved to answer the knock.

His mother smiled at him and pulled Len down in for a hug when he opened the door.

"It's so good to see you again, Honey," she cooed and Len allowed himself to smile. He caught his father's eye over his mother shoulder and after a moment he took a step back. He looked back at Barry, who was trying not to appear awkward and placed his hand on his boyfriend's lower back.

"Mum, Dad, this is Barry," he introduced. His parents had both left their phones at home while on their cruise as to avoid roaming charges; and so Len had only told them about his new boyfriend late last night when they had arrived home from the cruise and he rang to invite them for dinner.

"It's great to finally meet you," Barry said, sounding much calmer than Len knew he was. His parents' smiles were polite as they took Barry in and Mara opened her arms to pull Barry into a small hug. Barry seemed surprised but he went with it and kept his smile on his face. Len's father offered him a handshake instead.

"And it's lovely to meet you too, Barry," Mara proclaimed, being the most outgoing of his parents she tended to speak for the both of them. Not that his father would refuse to speak, just that Tony Neumann was more reserved and a little self-conscious of his German accent when he was talking to anyone that he didn't know very well. "Gosh, aren't you handsome!" Mara exclaimed and Barry rubbed the back of his neck and let out a quiet, nervous laugh. "Oh, don't be shy. It's a fact," Len's mother insisted and Len decided it was probably time to intervene.

"Let me take your coats," he told his parents and afterwards led them through to his kitchen diner.

"I like your apartment," Tony eventually murmured as his parents took it in for the first time. Len shrugged.

"It's not very big," he allowed, "but I like it." It wasn't too much bigger than a student flat, consisting of only five rooms: a kitchen diner, a living room, a bathroom, a bedroom, and a short hallway to connect them all. Len had plenty of money from the past several years so he _could_ have afforded something much bigger. But he was still saving for his university classes, which he would start in six and a half months, and so he wanted to keep his outgoing costs as small as possible.

There was still almost forty minutes left until his food would be ready and so he poured everyone a drink and they stood in the kitchen talking. Len realised that he probably should have introduced Barry to his parents _after_ he'd told them the truth about what happened while they were away, but it was too late to think about that now. And, honestly, having Barry there for him was a comfort that he really appreciated.

He didn't want it to get too awkward right away since this was the first time they were meeting his boyfriend, so he decided to wait and let Barry win them over first before he admitted the truth.

"Len tells me you were a chef? Is that how he learnt to cook so well?" Barry asked and Len's mother laughed.

"I taught him a thing or two, yes. But I can't take all of the credit for that: he was already a splendid cook," Mara cooed.

"Do you cook, Barry?" Tony asked and Barry blushed and shook his head.

"I can't even toast bread without it burning," he laughed and Len smirked into his glass of wine as it brought back some pretty inappropriate memories: like the day that Lisa felt well enough to move back out of his apartment and so he and Barry had celebrated in a variety of different positions. They'd truly tested Barry's refractory period that day, only really stopping for food (which they inevitably burnt when they got… distracted.)

"How did you two meet?" Mara asked and Len could see by the warm smile on her face that she was already taken by Barry. Len had an eidetic memory, a result of taking too many blows to the head at such a young age, and most of the time he hated it because a large majority of his memories only brought back fear and pain… but there was a calmness that accompanied his memories with Barry. They made him feel lighter and happier.

As Barry explained how they met, Len couldn't help reliving the moment in his mind: it had been his second day at work and he was put on the morning rush shift and, honestly, he was bored. There wasn't all that much excitement to get out of working in a coffee shop; but he'd only just moved back to Central and this was the first job that hired him, the pay was surprisingly good too, so he didn't want to complain.

Len remembered greeting Barry with the customary 'welcome to Jitters, what can I get for you?' He'd been busy tapping away at his phone so when he heard Len's voice and realised he'd reached the front of the queue. He jumped and almost knocked over the sign on the counter. Not that Barry had noticed that, though, because he was too busy staring at Len.

Barry's eyes were wide and his face had the deer-caught-in-a-headlight kind of expression as he continued to stare and the silence stretched on for several seconds. Len frowned and had been about to ask if he was okay when Barry blinked his eyes numerous times with a small shake of his head and blushed a deep red.

Barry gave his order and Len rang it up, a slow smirk appearing on his face once he realised that the kid had been checking him out and not, in fact, having a stroke. Len couldn't help but find Barry cute, not just physically but also in the way he interacted with others and moved. It was… endearing.

After Barry progressed from the till to the pick-up section, Len tried to just move on with the rest of his job; but he found himself shooting looks Barry's way every few seconds. And feeling a little disappointed when the kid never made eye contact with him. At the time he'd thought it was probably for the best anyway: Barry did look very young, after all. But now, Len was just so thrilled that Barry had kept coming back to Jitters after that moment because he couldn't imagine how his last few months might have turned out if he'd never dated the Flash.

Once Barry had finished telling Mara and Tony Neumann about how they met, he looked Len's way and blushed. Len realised that he was unabashedly checking Barry out and he smirked… he hadn't felt this happy in a relationship in a very long time.

They moved on to the next topic easily and Len finished their dinner. He was very happy with how everything was turning out: he'd known that his parents would love Barry, but it felt good to have it confirmed. The meal went well and Mara gushed about how much she had missed Len's cooking as they eat. He knew that she was just being motherly, after all, she was a much better cook than he was, but it still made Len happy.

After everyone was finished, Len stood up to clear the plates and his mother immediately stood up too.

"Let me help," she insisted, even when he told her he was fine, so he just smiled and nodded. Barry grinned up at him but was then immediately drawn into a conversation with Tony about football. Len knew that Barry didn't really have the time to watch sports, and that he hadn't been all that bothered about them before he'd become the Flash either, but it seemed he would talk about anything if he thought it would get Len's parents to like him.

Len left them to it as he took the plates to the sink and his mother followed. She pulled him away, as far away from the table as possible, before smiling up at him and talking in a hushed voice that wouldn't be heard by Barry or Tony.

"He seems lovely," she cooed and Len nodded.

"Yeah, he is," he replied in an equally hushed voice as his eyes skirted back to the table. Len hadn't always had the best taste in guys (or girls, for that matter), but Barry was different and Len was lucky to be with him. He was a truly good guy, more so than Len's parents would ever know. "I love him," he told her and she rolled her eyes as though he had just stated the obvious, which apparently he had.

"I can see that," she teased and her eyes went a little bit sombre as her thoughts drifted to the past. "I don't think I've ever seen you this happy before."

Mara patted Len on the shoulder and he was happy that she approved of Barry. He asked her to help put out dessert and she agreed so he grabbed the lemon meringue pie from the fridge. He'd bought this from a baker instead of making it though because he knew that beef bourguignon would take him three hours to cook and he didn't want to spend the _entire_ day in the kitchen.

Len got some plates out of the cupboard and his mother grabbed a serving knife, slicing the pie into nice-sized pieces and plating them.

"Your father's favourite," she commented as she boxed the pie again and Len shrugged. "You know you didn't have to butter us up, we'd love Barry even if we didn't like the food," she laughed and Len smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. Serving his parents' favourite dishes had been to put them in a good mood for the evening, but it hadn't been because they were meeting Barry. It was time to tell them the truth.

His mother looked concerned when he didn't say anything and she stopped fiddling with the box, placing her hand on his arm.

"What's wrong?" She asked quietly and Len shook his head.

"How about we just enjoy dessert first?" He mumbled and after a moment his mother nodded and stepped back. She took two of the plates to the table as Len took the other two but she kept a studious eye on him the entire time they were eating. Once everyone was done with their pie, Len paused before taking away the dishes. Barry seemed to realise that he was finally ready to tell his parents the truth and so he reached under the table and squeezed Len's thigh in support.

Len clasped his hands together, leaning his elbows on the table, and slowly looked between his parents. His dad seemed to pick up on the tension in the room because he fell quiet too for a moment before asking what was wrong.

"Something happened while you were away," Len admitted after a deep breath. "Lisa and I both agree that you should know about it." _Not that she had bothered to show up today, though_ , Len thought. But that wasn't really very fair, he'd been the one who insisted on getting this over with as soon as possible and Lisa was just too busy with a case at work.

Len took a deep breath and told them everything that happened. Well, _almost_ everything: obviously excluding the tiny detail that his new boyfriend was the Flash and that he and Lisa were now working with him as Captain Cold and Golden Glider.

He told his parents how Lisa had been attacked by Roscoe Dillon, her ex-on-again-off-again-boyfriend who was now thankfully in jail and out of her life forever, and how he put a bomb in her neck for Lewis. He told them how Lewis had been concerned about the Flash interrupting his heists and so he'd used the bomb to blackmail Len into working with him. And he told them that the team that worked with the Flash got the bomb out of Lisa and helped to bring him home safe.

By the time he finished explaining, his parents were standing and pulling him into a hug. He had mostly dealt with all the emotional weight that the events had caused, but all of this was too new to his parents and so the hug was more to comfort them than it was for himself.

The conversation afterwards was a long one, filled with anger towards Lewis and annoyance at themselves for not being there for their children when they needed them. But eventually everyone settled and they were able to continue with their evening. Mara had tears in her eyes but she wiped them away subtly before standing up again and putting a smile on her face.

"How about we move on to presents?" She asked and pulled her bag out from under the table. Christmas had passed seven weeks ago while they were still on their cruise and so they had agreed that they would celebrate it afterwards. Len and Barry took the plates to the sink and Len gestured for his parents to move through to the living room.

When they were alone again, Barry leaned into Len and wrapped his arms around his waist. He rested his head on Len's shoulder and Len relaxed into the warmth radiating from Barry's body. The kid always ran a little bit hotter than most people and Len was surprised by how comforting he found it.

"Are you okay?" Barry asked after a moment and Len nodded his head.

"I am now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, that’s right, another fic where I start off cute and build up to the angst… it’s my go-to writing method :) what were your thoughts on the chapter?  
> Btw, I’m going to be updating this fic every week, my Flashpoint fic every 2 weeks, and my sterek fic (Who Knew) whenever my beta has time to send my chapters back to me. I have this marked down as 13 chapters but the majority aren’t yet written and so there is a bit of leeway with that. But initial estimates is that this fic will be about 40k long  
> Don't forget to leave a comment :)


	2. New Beginnings

Len's hand ran down Barry's naked back, rubbing soothingly at his tight muscles and relieving the tension that he carried there. Eventually, Len's mouth joined his hands, leaving wet biting kisses across his skin. He loved days like this.

Currently, Barry was lying on his stomach on top of Len's sheets with his boyfriend straddling his thighs. Len kissed at the back of Barry's neck and he shivered, Len _knew_ that he was ticklish there! Len's hands roamed down Barry's lower back, his thumbs digging in just enough to leave Barry moaning. Len huffed a laugh against Barry's skin and Barry could feel the older man growing hard against his leg.

Len shifted down a little bit, trailing his kisses lower and lower down Barry's back and grazing his teeth teasingly against his skin. Barry could feel the wisps of Len's breath against the curve of his butt and he grasped tightly at the sheets beneath him. His dick twitched with anticipation.

There was a vibrating noise nearby and for a moment Barry thought that Len had turned on a toy, but then he realised that the noise was coming from the pile of discarded clothes on the floor. Barry lifted his head from the pillow and looked down at said clothes, seeing Len's phone light up.

Len must have moved to look too because a second later he muttered "it's work" and Barry sighed. He moved to sit up and nodded at Len to answer the call. Len leaned forward to kiss him chastely before reaching down and swiping accept. Barry couldn't make out the words on the other line, but after a moment Len's shoulders drooped. "You want me to come in?" He said after a moment. He looked conflicted as he made eye contact with Barry.

"You should go," Barry said quietly. Len looked remorseful as he nodded and told his boss that he could be there in twenty minutes. Len hung up and dropped the phone back onto the sheets before standing up.

"I'm so sorry," he muttered as he opened his drawer to search for some fresh clothes. "Liz is ill and Kendra didn't show up for her shift today so they don't have enough people to work the afternoon rush," he explained.

"It's okay," Barry muttered. He had really been looking forward to them spending a little more time together, but he knew that Len needed the money if he was going to save enough to not have to work after he became a student in a few months' time.

"Love you," Len muttered placing another quick kiss on Barry's lips before heading towards the bathroom.

"I love you, too." Barry looked down at the clothes on the floor, but he didn't feel much like getting changed. Barry had already fucked Len this morning, and come twice more due to his non-existent refractory period, so he didn't feel clean enough to get dressed without a shower. His erection was wilting and he considered for a moment just letting it, but then he shook his head and took himself in his hand.

Len had been teasing Barry for the past ten minutes and so the second he touched his dick it twitched violently. He was suddenly desperate to come so he slicked up his palm using some lube and worked his hand up and down his weeping cock meticulously. Barry trusted his hips up into his hand as he continued to work himself over, biting his lower lip before gasping loudly. He was already so _close_.

"You're going to kill me, Kid," Len drawled as he came back into the bedroom barely a minute later. Barry laughed breathlessly and slowed his hand just enough to give Len a show. He turned his head towards his boyfriend, who was leaning against the doorframe wearing a pair of black jeans and a half-buttoned grey shirt, exposing Len's taut, tattooed, chest to Barry.

Barry looked up into Len's eyes, noticing that the blue was almost non-existent with lust, and he sped up his movements a little more. Len's eyes were watching each twist and stroke of Barry's hand on his dick as though it was the most interesting thing he had ever seen. Barry shivered, it wracked through every muscle of his body and made his breath hitch.

Barry began vibrating and the sensations made him moan loudly as his eyes fell closed. He fucked up a couple of more times into his hand and purposefully increased his vibrations until he was panting.

He came a moment later, shooting his come over his hand and feeling some of it splash onto his stomach. Barry's eyes fluttered open and shut for a moment as his hips twitched up into his hand and he sighed in content, the orgasm thrumming through every cell in his body and leaving him completely blissed out. He'd be lying if he said that this wasn't the best part about being the Flash. Sure, it was cool to have super speed and super healing. And of course, he loved being able to help people… but his over-sensitive nerves made orgasms feel _unbelievable_.

" _Shit_ ," Len muttered and Barry opened his eyes again to make contact with his boyfriend, who had taken a couple of steps further into the room and seemed to be sporting his own erection once more. Barry grinned mischievously up at him, brushing his fingers up and down the inside of his thigh, and Len shook his head. "I hate you," he mumbled, looking away as he did up the last few buttons on his shirt, and Barry laughed.

"You love me," he corrected and Len smiled down at the floor.

"Yeah… I do." His eyes lifted back up to Barry and then flicked to the clock on the wall. "And I really have to go." Len pulled on some shoes and then went over to Barry, cupping his jaw in his hand, and pulling him up for a longing kiss. "I'll see you later, Barry," he promised and then quickly left.

Barry stared yearningly after him and sighed. He stretched on the bed momentarily before he got up and padded off to Len's bathroom. Normally he would speed through his showers but since he had nothing to do today anymore he decided to take his time and let the warm water soak into his skin.

Afterwards, he pulled on his clothes and texted Iris to see if she was free. A couple of minutes later he got a reply that she was and so he ran over to her place, always careful not to run too fast in regular clothes so that it wouldn't set them or his shoes on fire.

When he got to Iris' house he sped straight inside and found her sitting at her dining room table surrounded by wedding magazines. The pages lifted in the breeze as he came to a stop in the room and Iris' shoulders dropped as the tension released from them.

"Thank God you're here, Barry," she muttered as she turned to face him. "Planning this wedding is so stressful! There's too much to decide, we're never going to get it done in time. Like, we can only afford to serve one meat and one vegetarian option, so do I pick chicken or beef? Do I choose real or fake flowers for the decorations? What colour scheme would look best?" She rambled and Barry's eyes widened, he wasn't used to her being like this: she was always so much calmer than he was.

"Okay, just… take a deep breath," Barry muttered, raising his hands to try to calm her down. "We'll sort this out. Where's Eddie?"

"I told him to go for a walk," she muttered solemnly. "He's useless at this, Barry. He wanted _sunflowers_ in the bouquet!" She scoffed as though it was completely ridiculous to even consider the idea.

"What's wrong with sunflowers?" He asked and then winced as he prepared himself for Iris' wrath for not understanding. She had been pretty emotional with a surprisingly short temper for the past few weeks, the stress of planning a wedding getting to her. But instead of being angry, her reply just sounded sad.

"Because whatever's in the bouquet has to be in the table centrepieces," she muttered and stared down at the magazine under her fingers. "And sunflowers are too big! People won't be able to see around them and then it'll stilt the conversation…" Barry was surprised by how genuinely sad Iris sounded. He pulled the chair next to her and sat down, reaching his hand to place it on top of hers.

"Okay. No big flowers. Got it. See, we can get this done. It's nothing to worry about." He once again wondered if he'd said the wrong thing, but she continued to stare down at the floral magazine instead of snapping at him. "You like yellow, right?" He asked and she nodded. "Then what about daisies? Daisies are pretty. And they're small too."

"Daisies… I like daisies…" she muttered and a small smile spread across her face. "Maybe with white roses?"

"Whatever you want," he nodded, happy to see her looking less upset and stressed. Barry pulled forward a magazine and opened it at a random page as they went through floral arrangements together. It was… slow work would be putting it nicely. After an hour, Barry's eyes were beginning to feel heavy. He'd be more than happy to go the rest of his life without seeing another material swatch… and no matter what Iris said, he just couldn't see the difference between the two shades of cream she was holding up for the invitation cards…

In the end, they didn't get much sorted but she _did_ have a tenuous idea to have real _yellow_ roses with _white_ daisies for the flowers and that the bridesmaids were going to wear light grey dresses which would match the groomsmen’s ties. Barry put on a smile and grabbed the next magazine, which was for wedding dresses. But Iris snatched it from him with a frown.

"I don't want to look at wedding dresses yet," she mumbled and chucked the magazine to the far end of the table, where it slid across the wood for a moment before toppling over the side and hitting the floor with a loud thud. "I just think I should wait until it's closer to the day, okay?" Iris defended herself as silence filled the room. Barry thought that it was probably better to just ignore it and move on but then he noticed her eyes sparkling with what looked like tears. He scooted closer to her in his chair.

"Iris… what's wrong?" He asked in a soft voice after another moment had passed. She had been acting this way for far too long now: it _couldn't_ just be down to stress.

"Nothing. I just…" Iris started to reply and then shook her head. "I shouldn't say."

"You know you can tell me anything," Barry assured her and she nodded, starting to get worried.

"I don't want to pick a wedding dress yet… because I don't know what size I'll be," she said slowly and Barry frowned. Iris made eye contact with Barry again and the tears were still there but she was grinning again now. "I'm pregnant," she laughed and Barry's eyes went wide. For a second he didn't know what to say. But then he found himself smiling too.

"Are you serious? I'm so happy for you," he said and pulled her into a hug. And, actually, he was.

It was a strange realisation, four months ago he'd been fawning over Iris and spending his time daydreaming about how it would feel if she loved him back. If she had told him this back then, then Barry would have been heartbroken. But then he met Len. And, without him even realising, he'd slowly stopped pining after Iris.

"Just… don't tell anyone. No one knows, yet." She said as she pulled back from the hug, her voice cracking a little bit. The grin was still on her face and the tears had started to slip past her eyes.

"Does Eddie know?" Barry asked, just to make sure, and Iris nodded.

"Yeah… and he's always wanted a big family so he's thrilled. Or, at least, he is when I'm not yelling at him." Iris wiped at her eyes and she started to look guilty. "My mood swings kicked in a few weeks ago and they're pretty extreme," she laughed.

"I'm sure he understands…" Barry muttered and Iris nodded.

"He's been really great." She wiped again at her eyes and sighed in frustration. "God, I'm a mess." She took a deep breath. "But I'm almost ten weeks, so the doctor says they won't last for much longer."

"I'm sure Eddie will be happy to hear that." _And Joe_ , Barry thought; Iris had been snapping at _everyone_ for the past few weeks. At least it now made sense. Thinking about Joe, though… "You haven't told your dad?" He asked and Iris shook her head.

"I wanted to. But you're meant to wait until after the first trimester before telling people," she explained.

"I didn't think that extended to the family?" He asked and she shrugged.

"Probably not… but I'm just worried." Barry didn't truly understand that but he nodded anyway. "I should tell him, shouldn't I?" She asked quietly and Barry shrugged. He didn't want to tell her what to do but he was sure that she, and Joe too for that matter, would be much happier once she told him.

Eddie came back not long later, hefting shopping bags in through the door. He shouted hi to Iris as he entered the room and then stuttered as he saw Barry at the table, surprised to see him. Iris' entire appearance brightened up as she saw the shopping bags and she began to bounce slightly.

"Did you buy peanut butter?" She asked before Eddie could greet Barry, as though it was the most exciting thought in the universe.

"Yep," he said with a nod and Iris grinned.

"I keep craving apples dipped in peanut butter," she explained to Barry and he pulled a face – he hated peanut butter… and so had Iris, actually. "Pregnancy," she muttered with a shrug in response to whatever she could see on Barry's face.

"Wait, you _know_?" Eddie asked suddenly, his face falling. He started to take on the expression of a kicked puppy as Barry nodded and Iris' face turned guilty again – not that her guilt stopped her from reaching into a bag and taking out a jar of peanut butter. "I thought we were going to tell them together?" Eddie muttered and Iris nodded.

"I know, I'm sorry. But I swear Barry is the only one I told," she muttered as she pathetically attempted to uncap the jar in her hands. Eddie dropped the bags and helped her.

"Congratulations," Barry said and, at that, Eddie's hurt expression slid into a grin. After saying thank you and enthusing about how excited he was to have a kid, Eddie dragged the shopping bags into the kitchen to put away the groceries. Iris seemed happy enough to be left alone with her peanut butter and the apple that she grabbed from the fruit bowl, and so Barry decided to help him. He was a little bit surprised to find that Eddie had actually bought _several_ jars of peanut butter but, when he went back into Iris and saw that she'd already eaten half of the first one, he understood soon enough.

Eddie came in and sat opposite them, flicking through magazines and trying to help organise the wedding, and Barry stayed for a little bit longer but after the sky darkened he decided it was time to head over to STAR Labs. He hugged both of his friends goodbye before flashing away. On his way, he decided to make a quick stop at Jitters. He dropped out of superspeed in an alleyway and nonchalantly walked over to the coffee shop.

His eyes scanned the room as he entered the door. It was just gone half six and so Jitters wasn't too busy, but over half of the seats were taken and there were a couple of people waiting for their drinks. Len wasn't behind the counter and after a quick search, Barry found his boyfriend clearing a table. Barry took his time admiring him as he ordered his drink and waited in the pick-up area for it.

After a moment, Len lifted his head and met Barry's eyes. Len smirked up at him and Barry smiled back. His boyfriend put the rag he was holding back into his pocket and sauntered up to Barry, pulling him in for a quick kiss.

"Hey," Barry sighed.

"Hi." Len brushed his hands over the front of Barry shirt with a smirk and Barry looked down, only just then realising that he had grabbed one of Len's shirts instead of his own while getting dressed earlier. "I like seeing you in my clothes," he said, his voice like velvet. Barry blushed and Len took a reluctant step back to a more publicly-acceptable distance. Barry wished that he could pull Len back down for another kiss but he was already starting to feel hot with Len looking at him like that and he didn't think Len's boss would be happy with them making out in the middle of the shop.

After a second, Barry's drink was ready and Len leaned past him to pick it up off the counter and place it in Barry's hand. Their fingers brushed together and it made the hairs on Barry's arm stand up.

"I'm sorry I cut our date short," Len whispered. "Believe me, there is nothing I would have rather done with my time today than spend it in bed with you." Barry blushed as he shrugged.

"It's okay. You've been asking for extra shifts for weeks now… you couldn't exactly turn them down."

"Still… I'll make this up to you," Len promised with a smirk and Barry felt himself getting warm again, but not from embarrassment. Reluctantly, Barry took a step back from his boyfriend.

"I should let you get back to work," Barry said, a little sadly, and Len nodded.

"You're going on patrol?" He asked and Barry made an affirmative noise. "I'll join you once my shift ends." Barry nodded and kissed him goodbye, turning to leave the coffee shop and head to STAR Labs.

[] [] []

Lisa was patrolling with him tonight, she didn't always have a chance to because her job was a strict 9 am start that often required overtime going into the early hours of the morning. Lisa got cranky when she didn't get enough sleep and so this way was better for _everyone._ She hadn't had a chance to be Golden Glider in over a week and so, now that she was in the outfit again, she seemed to be very excited about it. They had already broken up two muggings and stopped a break-in and Lisa was still grinning like it was the best hobby in the world. Well, she was grinning right up until she walked past a shop window and noticed her reflection.

"That guy got mud on my clothes," she complained and began attempted to brush the dirt from her dress. When she and Len had first joined Barry on patrolling Central City, Lisa had been really enthusiastic to don a superhero costume for the first time; so she and Cisco spent a long time designing her perfect outfit, which had ended up being a yellow and white ice skating dress with matching yellow gloves, a white mask, and a pair of translucent tights.

For their one-month anniversary, which also happened to be the one-month anniversary for when Cisco gave her the gold gun, Cisco ended up making Lisa a pair of matching boots too. There was a concealed blade hidden inside the large platform that turned the boots into ice skates. Barry hadn't thought that she would ever get used out of them but, since then, Lisa had taken to entering most scenes at higher ground so she could create a slope with her gun and skate down it to chase after the criminals. It actually ended up being much more practical than any of them had assumed.

"We just sent Len off to a jewellery store on Third Street," Caitlin said through their communication system. "He should be there by now if you want to meet up. We're pairing his comms up with yours now."

"Thanks, Cait."

"Let's go," Lisa said with a grin and Barry scooped her up into his arms as he started running. Third Street wasn't too far away and so they were there in under four seconds. He entered the room to see Len dressed in his superhero outfit and facing a man who was holding a duffel bag of stolen diamonds.

" _Freeze_ ," Len drawled while lifting his cold gun to point at the thief and Lisa, quick to recover from being carried at superspeed, lifted her gold gun at the man as well.

"Why don't you be _as good as gold_ and drop that bag," she quipped.

"Is that _ice_ really worth your freedom?" Len continued and Barry sighed as the robber looked frantically between Golden Glider and Captain Cold, his hand twitching towards the gun on his belt.

"Do you have to do this every time?" Barry muttered at the same time that Cisco piped up over the comms with: "do they remind anyone else of Team Rocket, or is it just me?"

"Catch up, Flash," Lisa grinned. "You're not usually so slow on the uptake." They enjoyed this, it was obvious, swapping puns back and forth. They both loved the personas that they put on and Barry understood why, because it was fun to be someone else for a little while, but despite their seemingly playful disposition they never let their guard down.

The thief in front of them made a grab for the gun attached to his belt but, before he had a chance to raise it their way, Len fired first.

Three months ago, after Len had finally given into his sister's pleading and joined Team Flash, he and Cisco had spent the first few weeks remaking the cold gun. After some deliberation, they'd decided to keep the high settings because they were useful when going up against metahumans. But for when the target posed less of a threat, like a human jewellery thief, for example, they also added several lower settings: so the substance that came out of the cold gun when Len fired now was powerful enough to send the thief flying backwards and it was definitely cold… but it wasn't cold enough to cause any major damage to the man's cells.

Lisa's gun had been made in a similar fashion. The lowest setting produced a golden glue-like substance that made it difficult for the target to move but it couldn't do much more than that. Whereas her higher settings could coat a target with a shimmering solid metal.

The second that the thief was knocked back, Barry flashed forward and took the gun from his hand. Len produced a zip tie from his pocket and they tied the thief up, waiting until just after they heard the sirens directly outside of the shop before Barry sped them away from the scene. Once safely out of view of prying eyes, Barry stopped running. The two siblings wore grins on their faces as they powered down their weapons and Len planted a quick kiss on Barry's lips.

"Sorry I'm late," he drawled and Barry just smiled. There wasn't much else happening after that and so after another hour of patrolling and responding to minor disturbances, they called it a night and went back to STAR Labs. Barry dropped Len and Lisa in the cortex and got changed back into his regular clothes before slowing down to a normal human speed. He looked back over to his boyfriend as Len pulled the goggles down from his face and shrugged out of his parka.

Unlike Lisa, Len hadn't wanted to dress up in some ostentatious outfit as Captain Cold. Instead, he settled for all-black skinny jeans, boots, and a long-sleeved Henley underneath a dark blue parka. It was similar to what he had worn when he was being forced to work with Lewis, so it was a good thing that the police had no evidence of the cold gun from that time and that Len's identity could remain a secret.

Once Len was out of the parka, Barry took a moment to admire the way that the Henley hugged his muscles. Barry usually spent a lot of time admiring his boyfriend but today it felt a little bit different. After how their date had ended today there was a lot of tension between them. The good kind of tension, though. The kind where if they were alone right now, instead of surrounded by their friends, they'd be tearing each other's clothes off and having sex up against the nearest wall.

Lisa was chatting with Cisco and Cait at the computers and so Len pulled Barry away from them so they could have a moment in private. They ended up near the doorway and Barry looked at the wall behind him: yep, that'd be the wall they would've been having sex against...

Len's eyes were dark as he kissed Barry, the pupil blown with desire. Barry curled his fingers in Len's shirt and indulged in the kiss for a moment before he had to pull away. They leant their foreheads together for a moment, Barry's hands resting against Len's chest and Len arms wrapped around his body in return, and Barry hated that he couldn't just give in and rush them back to Len's apartment.

"I have to go," he muttered sadly. He had an early shift at work the next day.

"I know," Len stated. "I'll see you tomorrow," he promised, pulling back enough so that Barry could look into his eyes.

"You better," Barry laughed and then kissed him one last time before running towards his bed at Joe's house, wishing that Len was with him to make the sheets feel less cold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for such a great response to the last chapter :) you all really inspired me to get this one up quicker. It’s definitely not the best chapter I’ve ever written but I'm bringing in the plot in the next chapter so it should be less boring. Also, I _love ___writing Team Flash scenes! So there will be many more pun wars to come and I'll try to add in as many scenes with my favourite bickering besties, Cait and Cisco, as well :)
> 
> Next update will be on the 20th (a week from today). Or a little bit sooner if I feel inspired enough in my writing.


	3. Savage Reminders

Barry tapped away at his computer at an agonizingly slow rate. The software that he was attempting to use was very sluggish and so if he typed at his usual pace (hell, even if he typed at a regular, non-speedster's, pace) then it wouldn't register half of the keys that he pressed. Barry groaned in frustration and there was a warm laugh in reply.

He pulled back from the computer in shock before his bored mind registered that the noise had come from _behind_ it. He looked up and saw Len idling in the doorway to his lab and the tension that Barry was carrying on his shoulders just melted away at the sight of his boyfriend.

"What are you doing here?" He smiled.

"Can't I drop by my boyfriend's workplace for lunch?" Len asked and then lifted the paper bag that he was holding, the scent of burgers and fries drifting Barry's way. He felt his mouth instantly fill with saliva and his stomach growled loudly… he hadn't realised how hungry he was until right then.

"I love you," Barry praised and Len smirked.

"I know." Len stalked forward and dropped the bag onto his desk and Barry instantly pulled it towards himself. "So… how often do you tend to get visitors?" Len asked; his voice sounded simply curious but, when Barry looked up, his smirk was nothing short of mischievous. Barry's hands stilled on the bag.

"Erm… not very often," he replied slowly.

"It's not part of the precinct tour?" Barry shook his head and his eyes zeroed in on Len's fingers, which were tracing slow patterns into the wood on his desk. "No… unsuspecting teenager is going to wander in here?"

"No, Len. No one comes up here unless they need something," he replied with a frown at the odd direction that his boyfriend's questions had gone. Len slowly started to walk around Barry's desk, his eyes trained on his hand as his fingers continued to brush lightly against the table.

"So, if I wanted to… _make it up to you_ ," Len's eyes flicked up to meet Barry's and the meaning behind his words were now perfectly clear, "for how I ran out on you yesterday, then there would be no one around to find out?" He asked, his words sultry, and Barry swallowed thickly. He shook his head as Len stopped moving in front of Barry's chair.

"Not a soul," he replied and Len's smirk turned into a full grin.

"Interesting." Len drawled. He leaned down, his hands finding the armrests on each side of Barry and caging him in, and slowly brushed his lips against Barry's. All thoughts of food forgotten, Barry instantly wrapped his hands around the back of Len's neck and tugged him closer.

Len's tongue instantly found its way inside Barry's mouth and he sighed happily. Len was a great kisser; his lips were teasing against Barry, always driving him insane and leaving him wanting more. His tongue brushed against Barry's and it felt like electricity, made the hairs on his arms stand up.

"I… the door," Barry breathed out, realising that Len had left it ajar. He pulled away and, at superspeed, switched their positions so that Len was now the one sitting in the chair. Barry flashed to the door and closed it securely before rushing back to lean over Len. Barely a second had passed before Barry was back in Len's space and his boyfriend grinned up at him.

Len had long ago admitted that Barry's powers turned him on; and not just the fun ones, like the vibrating and the non-existent recovery time, but the additional strength and speed too. And he saw it now in the way he looked up at Barry and the way he shifted on the chair. Barry didn't think he'd ever get enough of the way that Len looked at him, and he hoped that he never got used to it.

Len sat up and kissed him again and Barry sunk down against him, pushing him into the chair and letting out a small squeak of surprise when it began to roll back because he wasn't keeping it steady in the same way that Len had. Len laughed at him and bit his lip playfully. He pushed his tongue against the sore spot and then slipped it back into Barry's mouth as his hands roamed Barry's body, paying special attention to his ass.

Barry had better control of the chair now to stop it from rolling away; but, _god,_ did he want to let go and touch Len again. His fingers twitched with it and his kisses got a little bit harder to compensate for it. Len's hands slid up his shirt, cool finger directly caressing overheated skin, and Barry shivered. He wasn't quite vibrating yet, but he was already hard in his trousers and wishing that he could slip his hands into Len's jeans to see how he was coming along.

Before Barry could decide whether it was worth letting go of the arms of the chair to feel up his boyfriend, Len grabbed Barry's waist and started pushing him away. Barry pulled back instantly but was surprised when Len followed him and pulled them both to their feet. Len nudged Barry back until hips suddenly were being pressed up against his desk. He had to pull back as he gasped and Len's mouth moved on to kissing and biting at his jaw instead.

In this position, with Len pushed up flat against him, Barry could feel exactly how ready Len was. He wrapped his hands around the back of Len's waist and cupped his ass, encouraging Len to grind up against him. He gasped and moaned as Len followed his lead, small vibrations wracking through his body and making Len hum appreciatively against his skin. Len ground into his hips a couple of more time before he pulled back enough that he could push his hands between their bodies.

Barry moaned, and then immediately had to bite his lip to stop himself from getting too loud and alerting anyone nearby what they were getting up to in his lab, as Len momentarily groped his dick through his trousers before moving on to unzipping him. Len wasted no time in pushing Barry's trousers and briefs down past his hips and allowing them to fall to the floor.

It was cold in the lab and so the sudden chilled air against Barry's dick made him shiver and Len noticed. He pulled back with a smirk on his red, kiss-bitten, lips.

"A bit too _cool_ for you, Barry?" He drawled. "Here, let me help you out." Len kissed him quickly and then dropped to his knees. Barry left one of his hand on the back of Len's head as the other clasped at the wooden desk behind him in anticipation, feeling Len's warm breath ghost over his erection. Barry watched as Len pulled a condom from his back pocket and carefully slipped it onto Barry's weeping cock. His fingers felt so good on Barry's skin and Barry was itching for more.

" _Shit_ ," Barry muttered quietly as Len's warm tongue licked a stripe up the underside of his cock. The heat drained away quickly, making it even colder than before, but Len ran his tongue over the same spot again before taking in his head. Len sucked on his dick gently and Barry's lip was starting to hurt from where he was biting on it so hard; he released it from his teeth in a breathy gasp for air. As Len continued to suck his dick, Barry was struggling to keep quiet but was just about managing it.

He was just thankful that they'd never gotten around to fixing the cameras in the lab when they'd blown during the lightning strike a couple of years ago.

Len sucked more of him in and Barry tipped his head back and closed his eyes as he focused on the sensation of Len's tongue wrapped around his throbbing cock. One of Len's hands wrapped around the base of Barry's dick as his mouth bobbed up and down, the contrast of his cool touch and his warm lips was enough to drive Barry crazy.

His fingers dug a little more into the desk behind him as Len's tongue was slowly taking him apart. The lab was completely silent except for Barry's soft whimpers and the wet sound of Len's mouth working him over: sucking and licking and bobbing his head at a leisurely speed that was driving Barry insane.

"Len, _please_ ," he eventually managed to mutter and he looked down at Len. _God_ , his boyfriend's lips looked so good around Barry's cock. Barry's hand was still resting on his head, rubbing the bristle of his shaved hair and enjoying the scratch of it against his skin and Barry moaned as another vibration wracked through him.

Len's jeans were undone and he was holding his own dick with his spare hand, pumping himself at the same speed that he was working Barry over. His eyes had been closed, but at the sound of Barry's pleading he opened them and looked up at the younger man through his eyelashes.

There was a moment where they just looked at each other, but then Len closed his eyes again and started to pick up his rhythm. Barry's entire body shook with gratitude as he got closer and closer to his climax. He came a moment later, shooting his come into the condom and moaning Len's name.

His orgasm spread through him like wild-fire, heating up his entire body and making him feel euphoric. He blinked his eyes open quickly and pulled Len up to his feet so he could help out his boyfriend, who was now pumping his own cock quickly in an attempt to chase his own orgasm.

"Couldn't wait," Len muttered. "You're so God damn beautiful, Barry." His words almost sounded like a complaint and it made Barry laugh as his hand joined Len's.

He kissed Len dirtily as he concentrated his powers into his hand and started vibrating it comfortably against Len's erection. His boyfriend moaned and bucked violently into his hand and Barry laughed happily again once their lips momentarily broke apart.

" _Fuck_ , Kid. I'm never going to get used to that," he breathed out and Barry's hand started moving a little faster. Within a moment, Len's dick was twitching in Barry's palm and he was coming between them. Len let out a lewd moan and then slumped forward, resting his forehead on Barry's shoulder.

After a few seconds, Len stood back up and pulled away from Barry before tucking himself back into his trousers. Barry grabbed some tissues from inside the bag of food that Len had brought and wiped Len's come off his hand before disposing of the condom. Pulling his own trousers back on, he turned back to face his boyfriend.

"Oh," Barry muttered and grabbed the last tissue from the bag before dabbing at Len's shirt. "You have a bit of… _you know_ …" he muttered and blushed and Len laughed. The come stain wasn't very big but it was against a grey shirt so it stood out and it wasn't coming out easily. Barry bit his lip as he tried to think of something he could use but Len just nudged his hands out of the way.

"I'll wash it when I get home," he assured Barry before zipping up his jacket and successfully hiding the stain.

Len leaned across and kissed Barry; it was a different kind of kiss than before. Less urgent and more leisurely. Just enjoying being with each other instead of focusing on getting off. Barry loved these kinds of kisses. He thought that he could stay in this moment forever. But, then his stomach was growling and he was remembering that it was almost one and he hadn't had any lunch yet. Len pulled back from the kiss and laughed, tugging the take-out bag closer to them.

"Eat," he told Barry.

"I love you," Barry muttered again before diving back in the bag. He picked it up and rummaged through the contents before pulling out a bag of fries and collapsing back onto his chair. He shoved a few into his mouth and nodded to himself, they were still warm and they tasted _good_.

Len had a soft smile on his face when Barry looked up at him and he leaned back against the desk. After a moment, Len dug around in the bag too and grabbed himself a burger, unwrapping it and taking a bite. They ate in companionable silence for a little while and Len pushed the rest of the food Barry's way.

Barry smiled up at him as a thank you but got a bit distracted when he noticed the ketchup slowly sliding down Len's finger. Without giving it any real thought, Barry tugged Len's hand towards him and he sucked his little finger into his mouth. Len's eyes darkened considerably as the tension grew between them again.

Barry wondered if they had time for another round, after all this wasn't the first time they'd had sex in a public building and Barry highly doubted that it would be the last, but before he could decide if they could risk it again the door to his lab swung open and Eddie walked in. Barry immediately jumped back and dropped Len's hand.

Eddie stood stock still in the doorway and was looking really awkward as though he was considering just turning around and walking out again.

"Erm, should I come back later?" He asked at the exact same time that Barry squeaked out: "we weren't doing anything"

"Right…"

"Don't worry about it, Eddie. I was just leaving," Len muttered, after glancing over his shoulder to see the newcomer, and Barry's heart gave a squeeze. Len finished his last bite of the burger and leant down to kiss Barry on the cheek. "I'll see you later," Len said and then he shot Eddie an innocent-looking smile before leaving the room.

"Do I want to know what… you know what? No, I'm pretty sure I don't," Eddie said and shook his head. "Do you have time to look at something for me?" He asked instead and Barry nodded and gestured for him to come closer. As Eddie began to step forward Barry looked at the rest of the food in his bag and scoffed it at superspeed so that it was all finished before Eddie was even at the desk. He quickly shoved the dirty napkins they'd just to clean up into the bag and pushed it off to the side to dispose of later.

"What's up?" He asked, hoping his 'innocent face' was as good as Len's… which he _knew_ it wasn't but he could always hope, right? Eddie seemed unsure still but he handed Barry one of the files that he'd been holding and Barry flicked through it quickly. He made a humming sound as he thought over what he was reading.

"Seems like a meta, right?" Eddie asked and Barry nodded. He'd seen about this on the news last night, but the reporters didn't have anywhere as much information as the police did. A riot had broken out yesterday on the high street: people breaking into buildings, jumping in front of cars, attacking street performers, and yelling at anyone who would listen… it had lasted about ten minutes and put multiple people in the hospital, one woman was even in critical condition because she suddenly froze while crossing a busy road. And the thing was, that every single person effected gave the same statement afterwards of feeling suddenly terrified and just wanting to make it stop.

"Yeah, maybe, Eddie. There's not really much to go on though…" he said and Eddie nodded before passing him the other files he's handing.

"But then there's also these," he said, explaining the files as Barry read them. "Five much smaller incidents, spanning back the past several months, where everyone involved gave the same story about suddenly experiencing terror like they've never felt before." Barry frowned.

"Why haven't I heard about this before?" He asked and Eddie shrugged.

"They happened at different points in the city so different precincts picked them up," Eddie explained. "Plus, most of the time only one person was affected and the result of it wasn't anywhere near as severe as the riot yesterday. They could have easily just been lying, or having a psychotic break, or on drugs… There was no reason to link them. But now there is. So, what do you think?"

"We'll look into it," Barry promised with a nod and Eddie smiled in reply. There was noise in the hallway and so both men turned to look towards the door as Joe appeared through the doorway.

"Dead body," the man muttered with a jerk of his head to indicate that they should leave. Barry gathered his kit and Eddie hung back with him as Joe went ahead to the car.

"By the way," Eddie whispered, the smile on his face getting even wider with excitement. "Thank you for speaking with Iris. About how we shouldn't be keeping the baby a secret from our family," he elaborated. "She agrees that it's time to tell people now. My mum's going to be thrilled." Eddie laughed and they left the lab, walking down the stairs and seeing Joe waiting by the elevator for them.

"That's great, Eddie. When are you telling Joe?" He asked, quietly, because he didn't like keeping the secret from his father figure.

"Tonight, for sure," Eddie confirmed with a nod.

"Would you two stop gossiping and hurry up?" Joe shouted towards them and they caught up to him a little faster; the three of them drove to the crime scene together and Barry tried not to think about the good news because it made him feel guilty that he knew before Iris' dad did. But there wasn't really much else to do in a car. Barry didn't like sitting in them anymore… he found them slow and confining now and would much rather stretch his legs a little bit with a run than sit in the back of Joe's cruiser. But to avoid suspicions he just had to put up with it.

When they finally got to the scene, Barry lugged his tools over towards to dead body as both Joe and Eddie moved over to talk to the first responder and get all the information. Most CSIs would go with them, but Barry liked to get his initial findings out of the way first and come to his own conclusions rather than piling on top of other peoples'.

The body was covered with a tarp when Barry made his way there and Patty seemed to be having a semi-serious conversation with another CSI, Des Connor, who was their go-to forensic entomologist. The stones under Barry's feet alerted them to his presence and Patty smiled at him as he approached them.

"Barry, you're going to be lead on this?" She asked and Barry nodded. He was lead CSI on most of Joe's cases. "That's great. Your reports are the best," she complimented and then laughed nervously before looking back at the other CSI present. "Sorry, Des."

"Hey, I agree with you," Des replied, sticking his hands in the air to show no offence was taken. He laughed lightly and smiled Barry's way. "I have another case I have to go to," he apologised and picked up his bag, tapping it on the side to emphasise his next words. "I've collected enough samples and I should get the results on your desk by the end of my shift. The blowflies are in the larvae stage and the weather has been fairly warm so initial estimates are that she's been dead a little over 24 hours. I'll know more once I'm back at the lab," the CSI explained and Barry nodded.

"Thanks," he said and crouched down to the body, pulling back the tarp as Des turned to leave. For a moment, Barry's eyes focused only on the wound on the woman's chest… but then he looked up at her face and Barry's eyes widened. He knew this girl! " _Shit_."

"Something wrong, Barry?" Patty asked and Des turned back to look at him.

"I know her," he said slowly, standing back up. "She works at Jitters with Len… but she didn't show up for her shift yesterday," Barry remembered. It was her shift that Len had been called into cover.

"Do you know her name?" Patty asked, going straight into detective mode. "She doesn't have an ID on her."

"Yeah…" she hadn't been working there for long, but she had always seemed so nice and kind… This was only the second time that Barry had ever been on a case for someone that he knew. It didn't feel like it was real. He had to clear his throat before he could finally answer Patty's question. "Kendra Saunders."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like the ending of this chapter was very misleading. Savage isn't going to be in this fic and neither are any of the other Legends (including Mick, sorry. He will be in this series eventually, but it will be in the next fic). Kendra is just an Easter Egg in this. I wanted to have her in the background throughout the whole fic, but I thought that since Cisco is with Lisa he never asked Kendra out so he never vibed her and he was never able to help her gain control of her abilities against Savage. Plus, her death may not be important in the same way that this chapter is hinting at, but it will be important further on in the fic.
> 
> Anyway… thoughts on the chapter?


	4. Aye, aye, Captain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter originally wasn't going to happen but I really liked the idea of Len meeting Team Arrow. Also, I just needed to settle the Vandal Savage question that my last chapter likely raised so I came up with 2.6k of, mostly, fluff to do that in :)

"Did you find anything yet about who killed Kendra?" Barry asked as he came to a stop in STAR Labs. Kendra had been a nice girl: she was smart and kind and she once literally dragged a homophobic customer out of Jitters because the girl had seen Barry and Len kiss and was talking shit about them. Barry hadn't known Kendra very well, but he respected her a lot. Len, however, had considered the girl a friend and he vowed to find her murderer. So that is what they were doing, putting all of their attention towards Kendra's killer.

They hadn't really got anywhere yet but it had only been a couple of days so they still had hope. Len smiled sadly up at Barry and shook his head.

"Nothing yet, Dude," Cisco replied. "Any leads at the station?"

"They found CCTV footage of a guy in a long coat walking away from the scene around the time of death… but his face isn't very clear so we're struggling for an ID," Barry shook his head and Cisco quickly used Felicity's software to hack into the police system and bring up the video in question. Barry, Len, and Cait hovered behind as they watched the man on screen leave the scene. Unfortunately, the closest street lamp was broken and so his face was covered in shadows and difficult to make out.

"We could send it to Felicity?" Caitlin suggested. "See if she can do anything with the image?" Cisco nodded and Barry agreed so the engineer quickly took a snippet of the video and emailed it to their friends in Star City.

"I guess now we just have to wait," Cisco muttered.

"No shit, Sherlock," Caitlin replied playfully and Cisco spun around in his chair to glare at her.

"I thought we'd agreed that you would never speak that name again in my presence," Cisco muttered. "Unless you're finally ready to accept that Robert Downey Junior was _by far_ the better Sherlock."

Caitlin rolled her eyes before replying. "I will never say that because it's just not true."

"Oh, come on! _Eggs Benedict_ doesn't hold a candle to Downey!" Cisco enthused.

"It's Benedict Cumberbatch and you know it," Caitlin replied.

"I'm sorry, what did you say his name was?" Cisco teased. "Burgerking Cucumberpatch?" He laughed and Caitlin paced her hands on her hips. "Or was it Breadsticks Curdlemilk?" Barry had heard this argument so many times that he sighed and took a step away from his friends, sure that this could go on for hours. "No, wait! Beelzebub Battleship!" Cisco exclaimed and Caitlin chided him for it.

Barry saw Len standing off to the side of the room and staring down at his phone with a strange look on his face, and so he went over to him.

"Are you okay?" He asked and Len nodded half-heartedly.

"I have a bunch of missed calls from my parents," he explained and dropped the phone onto the table next to him. "They know that something has… changed. But how am I supposed to explain that Lisa and I dress up in costumes and go fight crime with my metahuman boyfriend three times a week?" He asked, scoffing at the ridiculousness of it and Barry smiled softly. "I hate lying to them," Len muttered and Barry placed his hand on his boyfriend's shoulder reassuringly.

"I know the feeling," he muttered and Len huffed a short laugh as they made eye contact.

"Felicity's calling," Cisco announced and Barry turned to look at his friend and then they both moved closer. "Hey, I'm putting you on speaker," Cisco said into the phone before tapping the button and putting the phone on the desk in front of him.

"Hey, guys," Felicity's voice rang out. "I just watched the video and, I won't know for sure until I clear up the image, but this guy looks an awful lot like the guy that Oliver tried to apprehend last night."

"Wait, he's in Star City?" Caitlin asked, stepping forward.

"I think so, yeah. Is he another meta?" She asked. "Because he was strong. Fast, too. I mean, not _your_ kind of fast, Barry, but definitely faster than he should be," Felicity rambled. "So, we were just thinking that he had a lot of fighting experience. But if he's from Central then it would also make sense that he could be a meta."

"Okay, Felicity. Thanks for the heads up," Barry replied.

"No problem. Look, I've got to get back to work. But I'll see what I can dig up for you tonight, okay?"

"Sure. Talk to you later." He answered and they all said goodbye before Cisco hung up.

"Well that's something, at least," Cait commented and Len nodded before moving back to the corner of the room where he'd been standing before. Barry watched his boyfriend as he picked up his phone from the table and began to fiddle with it in deep thought.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Barry muttered quietly as he approached Len and his boyfriend smirked at him.

"You know you're actually supposed to offer a penny when you say that," he muttered and Barry laughed.

"Who carries around change? I pay for everything using my card," he said and Len pocketed his phone and leaned back against the table, crossing his arms, before speaking.

"I'm going to go to Star City tonight," Len explained. "If the Arrow faced this guy last night then there's a chance that he's still there. And if that's true then I need to know."

"I… I can't come with you," Barry muttered, apologetically. He _wanted_ to join Len but he was working nights this week and he couldn't afford to call in sick or use one of his last remaining holidays.

"I know. I'll be careful." Len promised and Barry, reluctantly, nodded.

[] [] []

The train journey was… tiring. Five hours on a train to get from Central to Star City did nothing to ease Len's worries. He didn't like being confined like this; he would much rather be riding his bike to Star City instead… but that would have taken him over 10 hours instead and so it just wouldn't be possible to do in one trip.

Len stretched as the train pulled into the station and heard his bones pop into place. He sighed as he grabbed his bag, that contained his parka and cold gun, from the seat next to him and slung it over his shoulder before exiting the train station.

It was already dark out, so he checked into his hotel and headed straight out. Once he was clear from anyone's view he attached his gun to his thigh, pulled his goggles over his eyes, and slipped his parka on to complete the look. Then he stashed the bag and started towards the alleyway where the Arrow and his team had fought off Kendra's murderer last night.

Felicity had sent Cisco over everything that Team Arrow had on the man, which included the name Vandal Savage and the details of the man that Savage had killed in Star City last night, Carter Hall. Len decided to start at the place where Hall's body was found and so he walked towards the docks, keeping as out of sight as possible in the mostly-empty streets.

But as Len turned down a quiet road, he heard a noise behind him. Len tensed and his hand went instantly to his gun on his thigh. He saw the glint of a weapon out of the corner of his eye and Len realised that he probably should have gone straight to the Arrowcave, as Barry always referred to it, before heading out on unknown streets.

But that thought became moot as he spun around, gun in his hand and instantly charged, only to see that it was Star City's own superheroes behind him. The Green Arrow's bow was raised and aimed at Len, having probably only seen a mysterious looking man in a hood with a weapon attached to his thigh and not realised who he was.

"Oliver Queen," Len verbalized and recognition flashed across the man's eyes.

"Leonard Neumann." They both lowered their weapons at the same time, Len powering down his gun and tucking it back into the holster while Queen placed his arrow back into the quiver on his back. "Barry told you my identity," he said more than asked, his voice guarded and so Len wasn't entirely sure how the other man felt about it.

"We have a no-secrets relationship," Len drawled in reply. After everything that had gone down with Lewis a few months ago they had both decided that it was easier if they just shared everything. And to say that Len was surprised with just how many secrets Barry had been keeping would be an understatement… but they worked past it.

"Fair enough," Queen responded after a moment with a nod.

"Who's Barry?" Asked another member of the Arrow's team: a woman dressed in red and black who also had a bow and quiver attached to her outfit.

"The Flash," Queen responded and the girl's eyes went wide. She blinked twice and looked like she was waiting for the punchline of the joke. When none came she just gaped at her friends.

"We know _the Flash_? Did _you_ know we knew the Flash?" She asked another woman by her side, the Black Canary, but didn't give her chance to answer. "That's… wow. I, er, I didn't know that we knew the Flash." She tried to calm down but her excitement was obvious. "Is he here?" She asked as casually as she could muster.

"Afraid not," Len drawled.

"What are you doing in Star City?" Queen asked and Len wasn't too surprised by his cold demeanour, Barry had warned him that Oliver Queen wasn't always welcoming to newcomers.

"A friend of mine was killed. Miss Smoak seemed to think that it was the same man who killed Carter Hall here last night," Len replied and Oliver took a step back, muttering something into his comms. Probably conferring with Felicity and checking Len's story. When Oliver stepped forward again he signalled for the girl in red leather to move forward. "Speedy, do you mind taking him to the Arrowcave?" Oliver asked in a way that sounded more like an order. The young girl nodded and smiled at Len.

"This way," she said and gestured for Len to follow as she bounced away from the group. Len nodded back at the three superheroes before following her. "We're only a couple of minutes away. We can walk," she explained as she showed Len down a street and towards one of the main roads. "I'm sorry about your friend," the girl said sincerely and Len nodded.

"Thank you."

"I'm Thea, by the way," she said brightly after making sure that no one was around to overhear her. "Ollie's sister." She stuck out her hand and Len shook it. "You're Leonard?"

"Call me Len."

"Len, right. Aye, aye, Captain," she said, dipping her head a little, and Len laughed. Thea led him through an office to a secret elevator and then down to the Arrowcave. A blonde woman was leaning back in a swivel chair but she stood and grinned at them as they entered the room.

"You must be Len," the woman said brightly and Len pulled the hood off of his head and yanked down the goggles now that he was safely inside. "Barry's told me _so much_ about you. All good! I mean… well, except that one time that he thought you were a murderer and a thief. But, you know, that was one big misunderstanding. He _obviously_ doesn't think that anymore," she rambled and finished with a nervous laugh in a way that reminded Len of his boyfriend.

"Felicity, I assume. It's good to meet you, Miss Smoak." Felicity grinned and nodded at him happily.

"And you, _Mr Neumann_ ," she attempted to imitate his tone and Len huffed a laugh before smirking.

"Well, now that we've broken the ice, how about we get down to business?" He suggested.

"Oh no, Barry warned me about your puns," Felicity laughed and Thea, who had also pulled off her hood and mask and was now collapsed into one of the computer chairs nearby, snorted. Felicity took a seat and motioned for Len to sit too, and then she pulled up all of the files that she had on Vandal Savage. "Okay. So, we got a name out of him while Oliver and Dig were fighting him last night but so far I've not got very many hits from it.

"I've been working on improving that image that Cisco sent me, though," Felicity continued. "I think it's just about good enough to do a facial scan. But because of how dark it is I've had to partially reconstruct the guy's face and so I don't know how accurate it'll be. It could take some time to get some results," she explained and Len nodded.

"Run it," he said and she nodded before she began typing away on her computer.

"So…" Thea said, speaking up from where she was lounging on a nearby chair. "You're friends with the Flash, then?" She asked while they waited for the search to be completed and Len smirked over at her.

"Something like that," he drawled and Felicity laughed into the palm of her hand.

"I'm missing something… aren't I?" She asked and Felicity nodded.

"I'm _dating_ the Flash," Len explained.

"Wow, really? Okay, I have a million questions: is his body really that nice or is it just a trick of the cameras or something. Because I have met so many celebrities that are just so… _meh_ … in person that I just don't know what to believe anymore," she laughed.

"Oh, I can confirm that one. His body is _very_ nice," Felicity said happily and Len frowned at her, reminded of what Barry had once told Len about the time he'd _'sort-of, kinda… but not really'_ dated Felicity. "No. I mean, not like _that_!" Felicity laughed nervously as she realised what she had just insinuated. "Wow. Did, er, the temperature just drop in here?" She joked and Len smirked before moving his gaze away from the woman.

Why did she have to go and make Len like her by using a cold pun? He would much rather prefer to coldly disdain every one of Barry's exes instead. He just had to keep reminding himself that, whatever had happened between Barry and Felicity, it had finished a long time ago.

"Oh, hey, we got a match!" Felicity exclaimed, sounding genuinely surprised and Len turned to the computer.

"Yep. That's the guy that we fought off," Thea said and Felicity frowned.

"Okay, strange… this picture's from 1975…" Felicity muttered.

"That's impossible. That's definitely Savage," Thea insisted and all three of them stared at the picture as they wondered how that was even possible.

[] [] []

Len spent a couple of days in Star City with Team Arrow as he searched for Vandal Savage, but the trail had already run cold. During the days that he spent there, the team welcomed him happily. Even Oliver Queen eventually started to warm up to his presence in the Arrowcave, though Len was under every impression that _that_ was entirely Felicity's doing.

But, eventually, Len had to admit that there was nothing left to be found about Vandal Savage in Star City and so he called Barry to come pick him up and they headed back to Central together. He knew that he had tried his best. But, still, he felt like he had failed his friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no time to write for both this and Flashpoint at the same time but I'm emotionally invested in both of them and so I don't want to put either on ice (ha!) for an extended period of time. Also, I'm writing 5 new fics for Coldflash week (December 4th-10th, information on it can be found [here](http://coldflashweek2016.tumblr.com/post/152550011908/coldflash-week-schedule)) _and_ I have to try to keep up with my uni work. I think, for now, I'm just going to have to stop my weekly updates and start with monthly ones instead. I'm sorry. This will probably only last until after my exams are over in January.


	5. Hiding in Plain Sight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS: mild blood/gore. Mild panic attack. Check end note for more information.
> 
> At this point, I guess I’d like to remind you guys that there was no Zoom or Earth-2 storyline in this universe. I’m writing this fanfic as though it is taking place on Earth-25 (you’ll see why in my next fic) and Zoom can only ruin one Earth at a time, and so none of that happened in this fic. Which is why neither Linda nor Wally know that Barry is the Flash.

Barry bagged up all the evidence he could see and handed everything he’d collected to one of the cops on the case. He wasn’t supposed to be working today but another CSI had called in sick this morning and so he’d had to come in. But that meant that he didn’t really know any of the cops on duty at this crime scene because this was a different department than he usually worked in, and so he didn’t have anyone to say goodbye to as he packed his equipment back up and left.

Luckily, he’d finished a little bit earlier than he’d expected to. He’d made plans to meet Iris and Wally for lunch today, since Len was working and Joe and Eddie were both sleeping because they were working night shifts this week, and have some ‘sibling bonding’ time. But, with being called in to cover a shift, he’d thought that he wasn’t going to be able to make it. As it was, he was only about ten minutes late.

The original plan had been for him and Wally to pick Iris up from her work and walk (since Wally _still_ didn’t know the truth about Barry’s alter ego as a crime-fighting speedster) to one of the diners on the high street. Once he’d been called into work this morning he’d told them not to wait on him because he might be late, and so now he ran directly to the diner at superspeed.

“Hey, guys,” he called as he slid into a seat at the table Iris and Wally were sitting at.

“Barry, you made it!” Iris exclaimed. “I’m so glad. We haven’t all been together for so long.” It was true. Barry saw Wally all the time because they both lived with Joe; and he saw Iris regularly: mostly during their breaks at work, since he could speed back and forth between their buildings, and occasionally when he had a weekend off. But between Barry’s nights as the Flash, Iris’ wedding planning, and Wally’s general student life, they weren’t often all free at the same time.

“Yeah, I’m sorry I’m late. What’ve I missed?” Barry asked and he watched Iris’ smile become a little bit wider as she turned to look at Wally.

“Nothing much. Just that Wally has a little crush.”

“I do not!” Wally complained, affronted. But he was blushing and Barry couldn’t help but laugh.

“With who?” Barry asked and Wally looked from him to Iris, almost as though he was asking her for help.

“Just tell him,” she whispered and, okay yeah, apparently Wally _had_ been seeking her help just now. But… why?

“It’s, erm, someone from Iris’ work,” Wally muttered and that really didn’t clear things up much. Why would Wally be nervous to tell _him_ that he liked one of _Iris_ ’ co-workers? “Linda Park,” he eventually said and Barry hoped he didn’t look too surprised.

“Linda? That’s… that’s great, Wally,” he said after a pause. Wally didn’t look too convinced. “No, seriously. I’m happy for you.”

“I’ve not asked her out, yet…” Wally mumbled, averting his eyes down to the food menu sitting in front of him and blushing even more.

“Well, you should.” Barry nodded. Linda was great and, by the looks of it, Wally seemed to really like her.

“Are you sure?” Wally asked. “I mean, Iris said that you two used to date…”

“Yeah, but that was years ago. And we only went out for a couple of months, anyway. It was a mutual break up, too, we ended on good terms so there won’t be any awkwardness. Plus, I’m completely into Len. He’s the only one I want. There are no residual feelings, I swear,” Barry insisted until, finally, Wally gave a genuine smile.

“Good,” Iris said. “You’ve gotten everyone’s approval, so you can ask her out now,” she practically insisted. “Well, everyone’s approval except Dad’s. But, don’t expect him to give you that anytime soon,” she laughed and Barry joined in. Wally just frowned.

“Dad doesn’t like Linda?” He questioned and Iris shook her head.

“Joe doesn’t like _anyone_ that we would date,” she sighed.

“He didn’t even like Eddie when he first found out Iris was dating him,” Barry added as though it was the most absurd thing ever. And it was. Even _Barry_ had liked Eddie, and Barry had been in love with Iris at the time! Eddie was just too likeable.

“Oh, yeah,” Wally nodded. “I remember how hostile he was when he first met Len.” Barry’s smile softened at that. Sometimes he felt like an outsider when he was around the Wests; he’d grown up in their house but, now that Joe had Wally, he couldn’t help but feel like he’d only been a stand-in son and wasn’t needed now that Joe had a real one. And so, in moments like this, it felt good to be included as part of the family.

“Ugh, decaf is disgusting,” Iris complained after taking a sip of the coffee in front of her.

“Decaf?” Barry questioned and she shrugged.

“Caffeine is bad for the baby,” she grumbled and Wally laughed.

“Wow, how much is that killing you, right now?” He asked

“More than you could possibly imagine.”

After lunch, Barry went back to the lab. He went through all of the evidence that he’d collected. It took a while to go through everything because, unfortunately, you couldn’t rush machines. Just as he got to the last item, one of the lab timers started beeping loudly. He’d set it to remind himself when to check on the electrophoresis tank.

He’d collected a hair from the crime scene, jet black which was a startling difference to the light blond colour of all of the family members who lived there, but he wasn’t hopeful that he’d get good results from it. Getting DNA from hair usually didn’t work. And, when it did, it often led to nothing anyway. But, there was a very small chance that the hair could belong to the thief and so Barry’d had to at least try.

Barry looked at the gel in the machine and was pleasantly surprised to see that the electrophoresis test appeared to have worked. The bands had run to the bottom of the gel and so he switched off the machine and removed the results. He covered the gel in dye again before cleaning it and uploading the DNA sequence pattern onto the police database.

This part, however, could take a while. Barry finished cataloguing the last piece of evidence and then checked the clock. He wasn’t surprised to find that he was supposed to have signed out ten minutes ago. The day had been slow and tiring so far.

Normally he would wait until the programme had finished running before he left work… but Barry was feeling drained. He’d worked all seven days last week and only had one rest day before he’d been called back into work today. And who knew how long this software could be running for, or if it would find a match at all? Barry knew that Singh wouldn’t begrudge him leaving now and so he quickly emailed his Captain to let the man know that the computer was still searching for a match, and then he left the building.

He went right back home for a shower and, when he checked the time, he realised that Len would be finishing his shift at Jitters soon. He quickly blow-dried his hair and then ran to the coffee shop that his boyfriend was working at. Their afternoon rush would have just ended and so when Barry got there, there were still quite a few customers milling around the tables but no queue at the counter.

Len turned to face the door when it opened and smiled once he saw Barry entering the café. They shared a quick, chaste, kiss over the counter.

“Hey,” Len greeted. “I thought I was meeting you at Joe’s?” He asked and Barry shrugged.

“I got bored of waiting,” Barry replied with a grin. “How’s your day been?”

“Boring and mediocre,” Len replied swiftly. “Yours?”

“Same.”

“Good,” Len drawled and leaned in close. “I don’t want you to have too much _excitement_ without me.” Barry just grinned in reply as Len pulled back. “I’ll clock out in fifteen. Do you want a coffee?” He asked.

“Do you really have to ask?” Barry replied and Len shook his head minutely as he tapped away at the till. The girl who was supposed to be working the drinks machines was on a break and so Len made the coffee and served it to Barry with another kiss.

Some more customers had just entered the café, though, and so Barry was forced to take his drink and sit at a nearby table. As he waited, he watched his boyfriend work. Len truly was magnificent: he was beautiful and smart and more than Barry had ever thought he could have. Every now and then, Len would look back over at him and smirk. Once upon a time, Barry might have averted his gaze… embarrassed that he’d been caught out. Now though, maybe Len was wearing off on him? Because Barry’s first instinct was to wink back at him.

At one point, his attention fell on the TV in the café. There was a news report playing and Barry realised that the outbursts of violent behaviour, which Eddie had brought to his attention last week, were still occurring. One such incident had happened last night. Just a small episode: ten people involved, no one was hurt this time.

Joe and Eddie had probably worked the crime scene early this morning. He’d have to ask them for more information. The incidents didn’t seem to have any real connections or profitability and so, if this _was_ the work of a meta, then it seemed like they weren’t doing it on purpose. Maybe they just didn’t have control over it yet? Either way, he’d have to track them down. Hopefully, he was right and he’d come back with a new ally instead of a new enemy.

Barry was so lost in thought that the sound of his phone ringing in his pocket made him almost jump out of his skin. He quickly scrambled to answer it, feeling worried as he saw Captain Singh’s name on his screen.

“Sir?” Barry answered. It was highly unusual to get a call from the Captain, especially when he wasn’t on duty.

“Mr Allen, good,” the Captain greeted. “I need you to come back into work and report directly to my office. It’s urgent.” Barry was pushing his chair back and standing up before Singh had even finished his sentence.

“I’ll be right there.” The call ended and Barry was tempted to leave the coffee shop that moment and run directly to the precinct. He knew, however, that he couldn’t do that. It would be too suspicious for him to show up only seconds after the phone call. And so, despite his instincts, Barry hung back for a little while. He waited until Len was finished serving the customers before he moved towards the counter. Len was already removing his apron.

“I’ll be ready to go in a couple of minutes,” Len stated, reaching beneath the counter to grab the employee folder to sign out of his shift.

“About tonight…” Barry muttered, he was smiling but it was apologetic.

“Flash business?” Len asked quietly after making sure no one was close enough to overhear them.

“Not exactly. Singh just called me back into work. He said it’s important. I’m sorry,” Barry offered weakly. Len shook his head.

“Go, it’s fine. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Len said, sounding a little disappointed.

“I’ll make it up to you,” Barry promised, leaning over the counter to kiss Len quickly.

“I look forward to it,” his boyfriend drawled and Barry blushed as he left the coffee shop. He could still feel the heat on his cheeks after his run to the precinct. He straightened his clothes as he moved towards the Captain’s office. The door was open and Singh waved him in the second that Barry knocked. The severity of the look on his Captain’s face told Barry that this was a closed-door conversation.

Barry’s stomach dropped and his mind instantly went to Len. The only reason that Barry could think of for why he, specifically, had been called into work (despite having only just finished a shift) was if it had something to do with Lewis Snart. It had been four months now since Snart had been arrested for kidnapping, murder, assault with a deadly weapon, armed robbery, and a bunch of other felonies. But the trial wasn’t until the end of next month. What if something had happened? What if Lewis had found a way to bring Len down with him? What if…

“Mr Allen,” Captain Singh greeted sombrely. Barry swallowed past the lump forming in his throat, forced a smile, and took a seat. “I’m glad that you could make it back in so quickly. We found a match for the DNA that you ran on the Martinez robbery earlier today.” Barry blinked at him. This was about the robbery case? Did they need a CSI present when questioning the suspect? Why couldn’t Singh have just got another CSI to fill in? This wasn’t even _Barry’s_ case, after all.

“Okay…” Barry replied slowly. “Well, that’s good news.” Wasn't it? But why did Singh look so worried by it?

“The evidence indicates one of our own.” Singh finished and Barry frowned, sitting up a little straighter.

“What? _Who_?” Singh picked up a file from his desk and passed it to Barry.

There was no name on the front, but when Barry opened it he found two sheets of paper. The first was the DNA profile of the sample he’d extracted from the hair he’d found at the crime scene. The second was a DNA profile of Des Connor, taken from when he’d joined the military nine years ago. Barry compared the two sheets closely, not wanting it to be true. But they were identical.

“Was he at the crime scene today?” Barry asked and Singh shook his head. “Well, maybe he knows the Martinez family? He might have been to their house before,” Barry reasoned. There had to be another explanation for why Des’ hair was found at the crime scene today. Des had always been a close friend of Barry’s: he was a good man, the first friend that Barry had made when he started working for the police. This had to be a mistake.

“I’m looking into that,” Singh assured him. “But you can see why I want to keep this as quiet as possible.” Barry nodded. _That_ was why he’d been called in, to keep this information within the original team. The fewer people who knew they suspected Des for a crime, the better. _Especially_ when it eventually turns out that the whole thing was one big misunderstanding. Barry had been in Des’ position four months ago when Lewis had kidnapped Len and forced him to become a thief again. Barry knew better than anyone here what it felt like to not have your co-workers’ trust. He wouldn’t let this get out. He wouldn’t fail his friend.

“I understand, Captain.”

“Good. In the meantime, I need you to rerun the DNA sample. Triple check all of your results,” Singh ordered. Barry nodded, getting up from his chair to do exactly that.

Barry left the office in a hurry and went right to his lab. He had enough sample left to run the electrophoresis a couple of more times, but he decided he should probably amplify some more of the DNA too… just in case he’d made a mistake the first time. That meant he had to do some further DNA extraction on the roots of the hair strand. Once that was complete, he had to amplify the DNA through a PCR test. By the time he was _finally_ loading it into the electrophoresis gel, over four hours had passed. It was now early morning and Barry was tired; he _really_ just wanted to be at home with Len. But all of this would be worth it if he could just prove that Des was innocent.

While he’d been running the DNA extraction, Barry had requested the files from the string of robberies that this case appeared to be linked to. If he could prove that Des hadn’t had the opportunity to commit the other robberies, then it would make it all the less likely that he could commit this one. He knew that the officers assigned to the cases were probably doing the exact same thing right now, but he’d feel much better if he could lend an extra helping hand.

Now that he was running the DNA on the gel, Barry decided it was time to go down to the file room and see if his request had been processed yet. Luckily, the file clerk seemed to be having a slow night as Barry’s files were already ready to be collected.

He spent the next 60 minutes reading and rereading every single file on these robberies, to no avail. And once the DNA had run completely, he was disappointed to find that all the samples he’d tested produced the same results as the first one had. There was no doubt about it, this hair belonged to Des Connor.

Sullenly, he took this information down to Singh, who also appeared to be working a double shift tonight. The Captain didn’t seem surprised to find that there had been no mistake on the DNA. So, either Singh held Barry’s work at that high of an appraisal that he didn’t believe the young CSI could make an error… or something else had happened since they last spoke. Barry didn’t think he wanted to ask, but he knew he had to. The Captain sighed and gestured for Barry to take a seat.

“I sent Jeffords and Santiago out to talk to Connor.” Amy Santiago was the lead detective on the case. Barry didn’t know her very well because he didn’t often work robberies, but he’d seen her around the precinct and heard that she was a good cop. Terry Jeffords was the precinct's police sergeant. Singh had obviously brought him onto the case once Des became a suspect. So far, the four of them were the only ones to know of Des’ potential involvement. “But he gave them the slip,” Singh continued and Barry’s stomach dropped. What reason would Des have to run away from his co-workers unless he actually _did_ commit these robberies?

“Is there anything else I can do?” Barry asked, pitifully. Singh thought about this for a moment before nodding.

“If you’re up for it, you could accompany Jeffords and Santiago in searching Connor’s home. I’m expecting the warrant to come through any minute now.”

“Sure.” Barry nodded, standing up. “I can do that.” The situation was looking grim, but Barry refused to believe that Des had done this. A few months ago, all the evidence was pointing towards Len being a murderer and Barry had believed it, he wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice. He had faith and he wasn’t about to give up on his friend.

2 am was approaching and Barry had been working on and off for the past 20 hours. He was tired and tense, but he wouldn’t give up. Exhaustion nearly got the better of him as he was waiting for the warrant to come through. He found himself momentarily drifting off in his lab after packing up his equipment and freezing the DNA samples he’d collected.

By 2:30, Detective Santiago shoved a coffee under his nose and announced that they’d finally got the warrant through. Barry managed to wake himself up as he sat in the back of the Sergeant’s car on the way to Des’ house. What they found wasn’t great: Des was in debt. It seemed that, after he left the military, he gambled away all of his money and had been struggling to pay the bills ever since. This wasn’t looking good. On the bright side though, at least they hadn’t found any stolen goods here. Barry had to keep reminding himself not to lose hope.

A few hours later, Barry, Amy, and Terry were back in Singh’s office and filling him in.

“You should all go home and get some rest,” he told them, announcing that it was time to let the rest of the precinct know about Des’ potential involvement in the robberies. They all nodded and filed out of the office in silence.

“Barry?” Joe questioned as he saw them leave. Barry hadn’t run into Joe or Eddie yet tonight and so neither of them had known he was working. “Son, you look exhausted,” he commented. “I thought you were covering a morning shift, not the night shift?”

“I was,” Barry yawned. “It’s a long story. I’ll explain tomorrow after I get some sleep. If you’ve not already heard by then, that is.”

“I’ll drive you home.”

“No, it’s fine. You’re working,” Barry mumbled.

“I already clocked out, Bear. Come on,” Joe replied and led Barry away to the elevators. Barry blinked and checked the large clock on the wall, realising it was in fact 6:02 am.

“Oh,” Barry mumbled. He hadn’t realised how long they’d been at Des’ for. He’d been on a 24-hour shift by now, no wonder he was so exhausted. Once they got in the car, Barry explained to Joe why he’d been working tonight. The conversation lasted the entire ride home. “But I couldn’t find any evidence to help him,” Barry muttered as the car pulled up into the driveway. Once Joe turned off the car, Barry made to climb out. But Joe stopped him.

“None of this is your fault, you know,” he said, making Barry still. “If he didn’t do it, then it’ll be cleared up soon enough.”

“Like it was for my Dad?” Barry muttered sardonically. It had taken Barry fifteen _years_ to get his dad acquitted of all charges. And even then, it hadn’t actually been _Barry_ who got him freed. With the help of his friends, he’d found the real killer but they couldn’t prove anything. If Wells hadn’t confessed in that video, then Henry Allen would still be in jail.

“Like it was for _Len_ ,” Joe corrected, brushing past Barry’s tone and probably accounting it to guilt and tiredness. “Come on, let’s get some rest. You’re no good to anyone when you’re this tired.” They finally climbed out of the car and made it to the front door. Barry was just about to reach for the doorknob when Joe grabbed his hand to stop him, taking out his gun and turning off the safety.

“What’s wrong?” Barry whispered.

“I didn’t leave the lights on,” Joe replied, drawing Barry’s attention to the light that he could see through the stained-glass window on their front door.

“What about Wally?” Barry asked quietly and Joe shook his head, dropping Barry’s wrist and reaching for the front door.

“He left the house before me, for a party. Said he was sleeping over at a friend’s,” Joe replied swiftly.

Barry considered running to STAR Labs, then, to retrieve his Flash costume. But he was exhausted and so he had no doubt that he was much slower than normal. Barry doubted that Joe would wait for him to get back before going inside. Also, if there was an intruder inside the house then they could very well be watching them right now: Barry didn’t particularly want to announce to them that he was the Flash.

No, it was better to stick next to Joe and stay vigilant so that he could pull his father figure out of the way if need be.

Barry stayed close as Joe entered the house: it was silent inside.

They moved forward, checking every room quickly and carefully. Until they got to the kitchen.

Time froze abruptly around Barry as his brain struggled to take in what he was seeing. It felt, suddenly, like all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room and Barry was struggling to breathe.

On the floor, lying in a pool of dark red blood, was Iris.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger information: a main character is badly injured during this chapter and they are found, after the act, in a pool of blood - it is only briefly described. The actual attack is not portrayed in this chapter. After finding Character A, another main character begins panicking.
> 
> And so begins the angst. Sorry for the long wait for this chapter. I know you don’t want to hear my excuses, so just know that I’ll try not to leave this fic on a cliff-hanger for too long. Comments would be greatly appreciated


	6. Living a Nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS for this chapter: mind control, thought of self-harm, and physical violence. I think that covers it all. If you think that it will be too difficult to read that, then I suggest skipping the section in italics and just reading the authors note at the end of this chapter as a recap of what happened to Iris.

Time was truly frozen as Barry took in the sight of Iris on the floor of Joe’s kitchen. Her skin was pale, her eyes closed, and dark red blood was covering the tiles around her. Barry couldn’t move. Time was so still that he couldn’t even tell if Iris was alive or dead: it was like some twisted version of Schrödinger’s cat – well, _more_ twisted. As long as he didn’t move, as long as this moment stayed frozen, as long as he didn’t take her pulse or touch her skin, then she could still be alive.

But it couldn’t stay frozen forever.

With Barry’s inaction, time began to slowly speed up again. Joe’s hand, that was still holding the gun, began to drop to his side and panic was taking over his face. And then Iris… Iris’ face twisted. Ever so slightly. It was just a small deepening in her frown. And suddenly time was working normally again. Barry dropped down to her side, her warm blood ( _warm_!) soaking through his trousers and tainting the front of his knees red.

Joe was at her other side now, the gun forgotten on the floor. Iris’ eyes twitched and her eyelashes fluttered, as though she was trying to open them but didn’t have the energy to. She was alive!

She seemed to be bleeding from her right side. Joe must have noticed that too because he was quickly tearing her pyjama shirt to find and put pressure on the wound.

“Iris,” Joe whispered, his voice sounding broken. “Iris, Honey, stay with us, okay? Barry’s going to take you to the hospital and then he’s going to come back for me and I’ll be right by your side again.” He said the last part looking at Barry, giving him the instructions. Barry couldn’t talk, his throat felt like it had closed up, and so he just nodded. He scooped Iris up in his arms and ran as fast as his feet could carry them.

Once he finally got to the hospital, he placed her delicately on a gurney and scribbled the words: ‘ _Iris West, pregnant, O + blood group_ ’ onto a scrap piece of paper. He pushed the gurney out into the main reception, shoved the paper into the hand of the nearest nurse, and left quickly to go back to Joe’s house.

He slowed down just enough to pick Joe up without causing him internal damage, and then left back to the hospital. By the time they got there, Iris had already been wheeled away and was being prepped for emergency surgery.

[ _Earlier that morning_ ]

_It was nearly 3 am but Iris couldn’t sleep. She’d had a nightmare, one that she couldn’t shake from her thoughts, and she needed comforting. Eddie wasn’t home, wouldn’t be home for hours because he was working the night shift this week, which is why she found herself pulling on a pair of UGGs over the pyjama bottoms and driving to Joe’s house. Her father was Eddie’s partner, so she knew that he’d be working tonight too. But maybe Barry would be there? Or Wally?_

_She still had her house key and so she slipped inside quietly and headed up to Barry’s bedroom, making sure to knock before entering in case Len had slept over and they weren’t decent. Barry’s bed, however, was empty. Iris’ shoulder’s slumped lower. She went to check Wally’s room but his door was open, showing that he wasn’t home either._

_Iris slowly went back downstairs. She was tired, but she was worried that she would have that nightmare again if she closed her eyes. Just the thought of it made her nauseous. She paced for a little while before eventually dragging a blanket onto the sofa and turning on the TV. She would go back home but, without Eddie there, his apartment just wasn’t as comforting as the house she grew up in._

_Iris stared at the TV and tried not to think about her nightmare, but the film just didn’t catch her attention enough._

_The nightmare was one that Iris’d had many times since she discovered she was pregnant, but she’d only ever talked to Eddie about it. It started out as a good dream, one of her and Eddie holding their new-born child. Their son would have Iris’ eyes and Eddie’s smile. He would be the perfect mixture of them both: so bright and happy and good. But, it was as though he was cursed. Because no matter how hard they tried, no matter how much love and hope they had for their little boy, he would always turn angry and bitter and dark. Until, eventually, he would take up the mantle of the Reverse Flash. And in this dream, their son would destroy everything that Iris held dear._

_It was stupid, she knew that, but Iris was_ terrified _that her child could turn out to be just like Eobard Thawne. But she didn’t want to think about it right now, she just wanted a break from all of this worrying. She had enough stress to deal with as a first-time mother without bringing the fate of their future descendants into this._

_Iris managed to refocus on the TV long enough to realise that the film she’d been watching had ended and was replaced with a rerun of South Park. She flipped through the channels for something better to take her mind off her worries._

_Eventually,_ _Iris heard the sound of a key in her father’s front door. She blinked and checked the time to see that it had just turned 6:15 am. Joe was home. Iris turned the TV off, dropped the remote back onto the sofa, and stood up. Tonight had been so long and she was so tired. But, when she turned towards the door, she froze… because it wasn’t_ Joe _standing there._

_“Let me guess,” the man said. “Iris West?” Iris’ mind was working a mile a minute as she stared at the stranger: a man who must have just picked the lock on Joe’s front door and who was now taking a step towards her. She instinctively took a step back._

_“And who are_ you _?” She asked, her eyes skirted the room for something to pick up, but there were only cushions and blankets around… nothing particularly helpful. Maybe if she could get to the kitchen…_

_“I was looking for Barry. But he’s not home, is he?” The man asked, skirting around the question. He took another step forward and so Iris mimicked him by taking a step back. “So, I guess you’ll have to do.”_

_Iris didn’t wait to see what he was talking about, she turned on her heels and ran. She almost tripped as she got into the kitchen, her UGGs slipping on the tiled floor, but she managed to steady herself on a counter. She took a knife from the drawer and held it at the ready as the man sauntered into the room._

_“You’re making this so easy for me, Iris,” the man said. “I can_ smell _your fear. And I haven’t even started yet.”_

_“Get back,” Iris commanded, her voice steady despite how scared she was. The man didn’t move away, but he didn’t make to move any closer, either. Iris suddenly found it hard to breathe, her vision swimming, and she had to clutch at the counter with her free hand because she was worried she might fall over._

_“You’re strong. I’m stronger,” he said. “You might as well just give in. Let the fear overcome you, Iris. Your heart is beating faster now, isn’t it? Can you feel it, can you_ hear _it?” Iris’ hand was now shaking, her eyes tearing up. “But it’s not me you’re_ really _scared of. Is it, Iris? So what is it? What’s your big bad fear?”_

_She thought about her nightmare._

_“That’s right, Iris. Let your fear take over.”_

_One day, one of her descendants would give birth to Eobard Thawne._

_No. She couldn’t think about that right now! There was a strange man in her father’s kitchen. She was in danger. But… it was too late. Iris was dizzy and getting increasingly disorientated. Her eyes fell to the knife in her hand as the man in the kitchen continued talking, his voice making her feel like she was in a trance._

_“What is your fear, Iris?”_

_That one of her descendants would become a monster, a murderer. Maybe even more than one. What if the first killer in her family started sooner than she could know? … What if it started with her own child?_

_“And how does it make you feel? What are you going to do about it, West?”_

_Iris was on her knees on the floor, she wasn’t sure how long she’d been there but she could feel the cool tiles under her skin. Her eyes were blurred with tears and her entire body was shaking with her terror and her anger and her heaving sobs._

_Her baby would be a killer. She had to stop this. She couldn’t give birth to a murderer. She couldn’t…_

_Iris’ grip tightened on the knife. She had to stop this pregnancy. She couldn’t give birth to a murderer. She had to get this baby out of her. Now. Right now!_

_Iris couldn’t see properly. Even when she blinked away her tears, she couldn’t focus on anything else in the room except the knife in her hands. The knife that she now had pressed against her stomach._

_“What are you waiting for, Iris? Do it.”_

_She had to get this baby out of her. Iris pressed the knife a little harder against the stomach, but she was shaking too much. She tried holding the knife with both hands. She had to do this. She had to. She…_

_“Do it!”_

_“I can’t!” She cried out. The knife slipped from her fingers and clattered loudly to the ground. Iris curled in on herself, wrapping her arms around her stomach and loudly sobbing towards the floor._

_“Yes, you can!” The man shouted, making Iris curl up on herself even further. He pushed her, again and again, trying to get her to un-curl. It just made Iris shake further and cling tighter. Eventually, the man pulled one of her arms free and pushed the knife back into her hand. “Finish this.” He demanded clearly in a dark voice. The touch of his skin on hers burnt and Iris yelped, trying to pull away. “Stop squirming and_ finish this _!”_

_She was shaking her head and pulling away. She needed to get away from him but her mind was clouded and she couldn’t think clearly. Iris was running purely on instinct right now and her instincts were telling her to protect her baby. She started pushing back, trying to get this man off her. She started screaming at him but he covered her mouth with his hand. He was shouting at her but her brain wasn’t processing his words. She needed to leave, she needed to get away, she needed to protect her child._

_“Shut. Up!” The man demanded, punctuating his words by driving the knife in through Iris’ side. She screamed into the palm of his hand and cried. She kept trying to get away, but her limbs were feeling too heavy now and it was getting difficult to move… the man must be holding her down. She whimpered through the pain, not able to do anything louder. She felt dizzy and nauseous. Iris was cold and tired again. She just wanted to go to sleep…_

[ _Present time_ ]

Eddie, Barry, Joe, and Wally were sat in the hospital waiting room. They were silent. There was so much to be said right then but none of them seemed to be able to find the words. Eddie had broken down and fallen to pieces in front of them multiple times in the past few hours, and Barry couldn’t stop picking at a thread on the hospital scrubs that he was wearing – he and Joe had both been given the change of clothes when they refused to go back home to change out of their blood-soaked jeans.

Not for the first time, Barry despised his powers. All he wanted was for time to speed up so that he could find out if Iris had survived her surgery. But at times like this, when he was filled with anxiety and fear, the adrenaline in his system seemed to make his brain speed up and the time in the room appeared like it was passing at a glacier pace.

After many hours, the doctor _finally_ came out to talk to them. They all bounced to their feet as the woman approached.

“How is she?” Eddie asked and the doctor smiled calmly in return. That was good, right? That didn’t look like an apologetic smile…

“She’s in ICU right now. You can see her as soon as you’re ready, but she will likely be asleep for several more hours. The surgery was routine. She lost a lot of blood but we managed to stabilise her. With a bit of luck, she’ll be able to make a swift recovery,” the doctor said and it was like a weight was being lifted from Barry’s chest and he could finally breathe again.

But something on the doctor’s face stopped them from celebrating just yet.

“It’s not all good news, is it?” Joe asked, his voice hoarse.

“Although the womb was not damaged during the attack,” the doctor said carefully. “The combination of the blood loss, the stress of the event, and the post-surgery painkillers make it unlikely that the foetus will survive.”

“She’s going to miscarry?” Eddie asked, sounding broken.

“We can’t say for certain, but it is something that you should prepare yourself for.” Eddie nodded and rubbed his eyes. For a moment, everyone was silent.

“I’d like to see my fiancé now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you didn’t read the section in italics due to the trigger warnings, this is what happened: it’s a flashback from Iris’ POV. She woke up from a nightmare about her baby turning evil (because she knows that one of her and Eddie’s descendants will eventually become a super villain) but Eddie is at work so she goes to Joe’s house hoping to find Barry there. While she’s there, a man shows up looking for Barry. He is a metahuman who can control people’s fear and so he increases Iris’ fear high enough that she’s suddenly terrified of her baby and she almost stabs herself in the stomach. She just barely manages to control it and stop herself, so the man stabs her instead. Barry and Joe found her just a few minutes after that all went down.
> 
> I am so sorry for all of this angst. It’ll all have a happy ending, I promise. Next chapter will be posted 9th May. If you’re looking for a fix of fluff in the meanwhile, next week is Coldflash week and I will be posting 3 new fluffy fanfics. So, keep an eye out for them!


	7. Snippet 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings!  
> Chapter contains a little bit gruesome language as Iris wakes up and blames herself for almost killing her baby. The language itself is no more disconcerting than what I wrote last chapter so if you were okay with that then you should be fine with this. If you're concerned about it, though, then skip all of Iris' POV section except from the last paragraph.

STAR Labs was quiet the next day. Even Cisco and Caitlin were too sombre to bicker with one another. This whole situation was unsettling. Iris had woken up a few times already but she was still heavily medicated and so she hadn’t been able to say much about what happened yet. The condition of her baby was still unknown. Barry was tempted to just sit in silence and do nothing but angst over his best friend… but now wasn’t the time. He had to put finding Iris’ attacker at the top of his priorities.

Except, he had nothing to go on. All she’d been able to tell them so far was how scared she was. She’d just kept saying it over and over again: he’d made her scared. Barry shook his head and closed his eyes. He hadn’t slept much last night. Add that to the all-nighter he’d pulled the previous night and Barry was exhausted. Len slid a coffee cup under his nose and Barry took it with a grateful, tired, smile.

“Anything new?” Len asked the room in general, having been out for the past half an hour to make a run to Jitters. Barry shook his head sadly.

“Joe says she’s still pretty in and out of it,” Barry muttered. “She just keeps saying how scared he made her,” Barry sighed: it wasn’t exactly much of a lead to follow. Except…

“Wait,” Caitlin called over. “Were those her exact words?” She asked and Barry shrugged. He’d only seen Iris awake once, and ‘ _awake_ ’ was a very loose term here, but she’d been muttering the same thing over and over again.

“Yeah, I think so. Why?”

“… it may be nothing…” Caitlin started off, looking unsure of herself. “But do you remember those riots that we’ve been looking into?” The riots… the ones caused by a metahuman who could control fear.

Barry sat up a little straighter, more alert now.

“You think that’s what this was?” He asked and she could only shrug.

“I don’t know.”

“We should look into it,” Cisco added. “Just in case.” The room was already a bit lighter now that they had a direction.

“What do we know about this meta?” Len asked as he moved closer to where Cisco and Cait were sitting behind the computers.

“Not much,” Cait responded as Cisco brought up the information on the different riots. “They create fear, but no one really knows _how_ yet.”

“They’ve started… eight riots over the past few months,” Cisco added. “But there’s not much to go on: there are no links between the affected, the size of the riot ranges from just a few people to more than twenty effected, no one person has been involved in multiple riots, and there doesn’t appear to be any goal to them. The effects just… fade away after ten or so minutes.” The working theory for this meta, who Cisco had yet to name while they still didn’t have enough information to go on, was that they weren’t doing it on purpose and just didn’t know how to control their powers. Could they really have attacked Iris?

Cisco, Cait, and Len continued bouncing ideas off of each other and Barry began to phase their conversation out as he stared at the dates of the riots. They looked… familiar. Barry was almost about to brush it off, but his gut instinct told him that it was important. Barry looked at them all individually: they weren’t holidays or any events that he knew of. He couldn’t think of anyone who’s birthday or anniversary fell on these dates, either.

… what was so special about them? Barry took a step back and looked at them as a whole and his shoulders tensed in recognition.

“Cisco, you still have access to the police database right?” he asked slowly, not looking away from the computer screen. “Look up the dates of the recent Lee, Central Jewellers, Fleming, and Martinez robberies.”

“Erm, sure,” he muttered and tapped away on his keyboard, quickly bringing up the online reports. “The dates match with riots 3, 5, 6, and 8,” Cisco muttered, surprised. He typed something else in, his eyes wide. “The time's match, too”. Of course, they matched. How had no one put this together sooner? This was why the different police departments needed to communicate better.

“What are we looking at here, Barry?” Len asked and Barry finally looked away from the screen.

“I was the lead CSI on the Martinez robbery the day before Iris was attacked,” he told them. “The crime scene mirrored three other robberies from the past few months and I found evidence there that incriminated another CSI. So, I was called back to work to try to clear his name.”

“Did you?” Caitlin asked and Barry shook his head.

“No. And he ran when they tried to question him.”

“Who’s the CSI?” Len asked.

“Des Connor,” Barry muttered solemnly, though he doubted his friends would recognise the name.

This couldn’t be a coincidence. Des had to be working with the meta. That, or he _was_ the meta and could somehow project his powers halfway across the city. But why would he attack _Iris_? Barry had been trying to _help_ him!

“Were there any more robberies?” Caitlin asked and Barry shook his head, he only knew of the four. “So, either there are more of them that we don’t yet know about, or he doesn’t have complete control of his powers yet?” She pondered. “But why would he go to the trouble of inciting fear in people halfway across the city?”

“As a distraction,” Len said. “A riot would be the cops’ first priority over any type of unarmed robbery. It would make for a cleaner get away.” Len shrugged and added: “it’s what I would do.”

“Thanks for the reminder of your criminal past,” Cisco muttered, only half bitter. “I almost forgot about the time you held a gun to my head.”

“I said I was sorry,” Len shrugged.

“No, you didn’t,” Cisco declared and Len just rolled his eyes. Barry knew that Len _did_ truly feel awful about what he had done to them all a few months ago while being blackmailed by Lewis Snart. But, Barry _also_ knew that Len was stubborn when he wanted to be.

“I’m going to guess that these other ones,” Len continued and pointed at the screen to indicate riots 1, 2, 4, and 7, “were either practice or done purposefully to throw the cops off his pattern.” The more they talked about it, the more Barry’s chest sunk.

“I need to tell Joe… he needs to show Des’ picture to Iris,” Barry mumbled, his fingers brushing over his phone in his pocket but hesitant to make the call: he didn’t want this to be right. Barry steeled himself and brought up his foster-father’s number.

[] [] []

Waking up felt like the biggest task that Iris had ever faced. Her eyes were heavy, her mind fuzzy, her throat dry. There was no sudden wakefulness. Quite the opposite, in fact, Iris was willing to wager that she’d spent half a day trying to wake up. She remembered snippets of that time: the faces of her family, the pain in her side, the dryness of her throat as she tried to tell them what had happened to her. She wanted to tell them, to warn them, but her groggy mind made it near-impossible.

When she _finally_ woke up, the room was quiet and bright. Her fiancé was by her side with his eyes closed, looking as restless and Iris felt.

“Eddie?” She croaked, her voice barely a whisper. But Eddie heard her. His eyes shot open and he sat up straight, grabbing Iris’ hand quickly.

“Iris, hey, shh,” he said softly, lifting one hand and gently brushing Iris’ face with his thumb. It was only then that she registered she was crying. She didn’t want to think about _why_ she felt this emptiness inside her heart, why her side felt torn up, why she was in the hospital. Iris’ eyes went blurry and she tried to blink away the tears to no avail: she’d tried to kill her baby. _Their_ baby. How could Eddie even stand to be touching her right now?

Eddie poured her a glass of water and helped her to sit up so she could drink it. When she eventually managed to ask about their child, Eddie’s face scrunched up. He told her what the doctors had told him: that their baby might not make it to full term. Iris’ heart broke even more.

Eddie tried to comfort her but he didn’t _know_! He didn’t understand what she had almost done. She had nearly cut her own baby from her stomach. She had nearly murdered her child. Whatever happened next, this was all on her. Soon, the doctors came in to check her over. They asked her a few routine questions and inquired about her pain, upping the medication slightly to help with it. Once they left, she saw the detectives hovering outside of her room to question her about the attack.

Iris didn’t want to let them in, she wanted to steal an extra few minutes with Eddie before he found out what she had almost done. Eventually, though, she had to face the music. She told Eddie to bring in the detectives and she told them everything that had happened. Well, _almost_ everything. She had the presence of mind not to announce that she was terrified her baby would be evil because they were visited last year by a malevolent speedster relative from the future… Instead, Iris told them that the man who had attacked her, the metahuman, played off of her fears for being a first-time mother. Thankfully, the detectives didn’t probe too far into the line of enquiry.

Truthfully, Iris hadn’t been sure how Eddie would react to the story. But she was surprised when he showed no revulsion at her admission that she had nearly mutilated herself and killed their child. If anything, he held onto her tighter and silently offered her _more_ support. Iris didn’t know what she had done to deserve a fiancé as good-hearted and forgiving as Eddie Thawne… how could anything evil be related to him? It was impossible!

By the time the detectives finally left, Iris was falling asleep again. She barely managed to give them a description of her attacker without her eyes falling closed. She slept for a few more hours once they left.

When she woke up again, her dad and Wally had both joined Eddie in the room. The two men hugged her close and carefully when she opened her eyes. She managed to eat a small meal without throwing up and then her dad handed her a folder of suspects. She looked closely at each picture on the pages, going slowly through the book. When she got to page four, though, her meal almost came back up. She recognised her attacker instantly: a man her dad named Des Connor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally supposed to be longer but I cut the chapter into two. I'm going to try my best to update every two weeks (maybe even more frequently than that, if I can manage it), but some of the chapters will be a little bit small. There is going to be a lot of angst in the remainder of this fic, so I'm going to give you a little bit of fluff next chapter to keep you going :)


	8. Calm Before the Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm aware that it's been about 3 months since my last update ( _woops_ ) so here's a quick recap before we get started: Barry discovered that his co-worker, Des Connor, is a meta criminal; one who uses fear-inducing powers to cause riots at one part of the city, keeping cops busy while he robs people and stores on the other side. Once Des found out the cops were onto him, and that it was because of Barry, he went to the West house with the intention of getting some revenge on Barry. But he found Iris instead, using his powers to scare her into trying to kill her unborn baby ( _grim, yes, I know. I'm sorry_ ). Iris survived but she now has a higher chance of a miscarriage.
> 
> And that's about all.

Barry bit his lip, sweat clinging to his overheated skin as his heart raced in his chest.

Len smirked up at him, from where he knelt in between Barry’s thighs, before licking a devilish stripe up Barry’s trembling skin. His tongue left goose bumps in its wake. Barry gripped onto the couch beneath him and let out a loud, uncontrollable, moan as Len sucked Barry’s tip into his mouth.

“Shhh,” Len purred, kissing his way down Barry’s weeping cock in a tantalisingly slow manner. Barry wanted to buck and chase his climax, but Len wouldn’t let him. He was completely at his boyfriend’s mercy. His pleasure was Len’s to control.

And Len was being an _asshole_.

Which, Barry had half a mind to say out loud. But the last time he’d said something like that during this game, Len had punished him for it: keeping Barry hanging on the edge of release for what felt like _hours_ before he finally came.

Len’s hand wrapped tightly around Barry’s cock, and Barry’s hips twitched upwards. Len bit Barry’s thigh in warning, not hard enough to leave a mark but the message was still clear. Len moved his hand up and down Barry’s trembling cock and Barry’s fingers dug deeper into the fabric beneath him.

“Soon,” Len promised, the word whispered into the skin of Barry’s thigh. He licked at Barry’s tip as his hand kept a slow pace up and down his cock. “Look at me, Barry,” he ordered and, when their eyes met, he sunk his lips down around Barry’s cock. Barry held back his moans, knowing he would be reprimanded for them. But as Len began bobbing his head up and down, his blue eyes looking up at Barry from under his eyelashes, Barry began to lose more and more control.

“ _Please_ ,” he begged, desperate to come. There was a long moment where Len stilled completely. But then his eyes fluttered closed and he began to work Barry a little quicker and rougher, giving his permission. Barry stopped holding it back and within seconds his release vibrated out of him, every nerve in his body coming alive as he cried out Leonard’s name.

Barry dropped his head back against the sofa, his eyes screwed shut as his head tilted up towards the ceiling. He stayed like that for a moment as he felt Len, who had already come ten minutes ago, cleaning him up.

Barry’s muscles felt jelly inside his body as he slowly lifted his head and opened his eyes. Len was pulling on his clothes, looking like a damn fallen angel with his tattoos exposed and a smirk on his lips. Barry pulled his pants up from around his ankles and tucked himself away. He considered pulling a shirt back on too, but his skin was just too sticky.

For a little while, he felt completely stated and unburdened. But then his eyes landed back on the stack of files on Joe’s coffee table and some of his worries returned.

“We shouldn't have done that,” he eventually said as Len dropped onto the couch beside him. “We should be looking for Des.”

“Barry...” Len sighed. “You've been working this nonstop for weeks now. You need to rest sometimes: have a proper meal, drink some coffee, sleep, occasionally have some mind-blowing sex to take the edge off.” Barry laughed but his heavy heart remained. “Hey, look, you can’t wear yourself so thin like this, Barry. You can take a break every now and then.” Barry nodded. He wanted to just agree with Len and brush it all off. But they had a rule now: no more secrets or half-truths, they told each other everything.

“I can’t look her in the eye,” Barry admitted. “Iris. She’s hurt because of me. She might lose her baby because of _me_.” Des had been at the house that night looking for him… Iris had just been unfortunate enough to be in the way. Barry’s guilt was why he wasn’t there with her now. She’d come home last week from the hospital but he’d barely been able to stay in the same room with her. And so when Joe and Wally went to visit Iris tonight, Barry had chosen to stay at home instead.

“She doesn’t blame you, Barry. No-one does.”

Barry didn’t know what to say and the conversation dropped. They sat there for a minute, in Joe’s living room, Len’s hand in his rubbing soft circles into Barry’s palm. Eventually, he took a deep breath and pulled away to stand up.

“I’m going to get ready for patrol,” Barry muttered and flashed upstairs to take a shower. By the time he got downstairs again, refreshed and in a clean shirt, Len had just finished lacing up his biker boots.

“I have to make a detour back to my apartment,” Len told him. “I finished patrol late last night so I went straight home with my gear instead of stopping off at STAR Labs,” he explained. Barry grabbed his own helmet, that he’d bought himself a couple of months ago, off the coat hook as he decided to join Len. Sure, running may have been the _faster_ way to travel, but there was something comforting and warm about holding his boyfriend close while on the back of Len’s bike. Not to mention that it was sexy as hell…

He climbed on, wrapping himself snugly around Len, and Barry managed to relax a little further as they made their way to Len’s apartment. It wasn’t a particularly long journey and Barry was soon clambering off. They walked up the stairs in comfortable silence, broken only by the sound of Barry’s phone ringing in his pocket. His heart sunk as he checked the caller ID and found that it was Iris.

They were already on Len’s floor and so Barry indicated that Len should go on while Barry hung back and spoke to her in the hallway.

_She doesn’t blame you._

Len’s words from earlier floated in Barry’s mind as he pressed accept and brought the phone to his ear, greeting his best friend in the best fake-happy tone that he could muster. Len sent a soft smile his way as he unlocked his apartment door and stepped inside. It closed behind him with a low click.

“Hey, Bear,” she replied quietly, sounding tired. “Dad and Wally just left, they said you’ve been burying yourself in work lately. And I haven’t seen you much lately.” She paused, unsure. “So I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.” Barry’s heart ached. Iris was concerned? For _him_?

“Don’t worry about me, Iris. You were the one who was stabbed.”

“I lived,” she laughed humourlessly. The question of her child’s fate hanging in the silence between them. Barry opened his mouth and closed it again, lost for words. Before he could find them, there was a smash from inside Len’s apartment that made Barry jump. He strained his ears to hear more, but it was unsettlingly silent.

“Iris, I’ll call you back,” he muttered into the phone and didn’t wait for an answer before ending the call. It was a bit rude, he knew, but he’d apologise later once he made sure Len was okay. He knocked on the door and waited for Len to unlock it for him, but there was no reply.

Biting the inside of his cheek, Barry tried the handle. It was a self-locking door but Barry knew that if he vibrated his hand _just_ right then he could break the locking mechanism and get inside. He did just that and entered Len’s apartment.

“Len?” He called, moving towards the bedroom when he heard movement in that direction. Barry was startled to find a man standing in the doorway, turning around to face him: Des Connor. Behind Des was Len, kneeling low with one hand on the floor as he took in deep ragged breaths like he was finding it difficult to breathe, with a lamp shattered on the ground next to him.

Barry couldn’t move as he watched Len struggling on the floor, struck with fear of losing him. He wanted to push Des out of the way and get to Len, to help the man he loved, but he instead stumbled backwards. His heart was beating double time as he imagined what his life would be like without Len.

He thought about never being able to see his boyfriend’s smile again, never holding his hand, never kissing his lips…

He _couldn’t_ lose Len, but he was frozen in fear and could do nothing more than watch as Des took him away from Barry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter. Hope it was enjoyable anyway


	9. Heart of Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team Flash finally face off with Des Connor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sigh, another huge gap between updates to apologise for :( I am so sorry for the wait. I got a job a couple of months ago and I’ve found it a bit difficult to organise my spare time since then. But I’ve been writing regularly now for the past couple of weeks and I think I’m getting back into the swing of it.
> 
> Also, I apologise if the flow of this one feels a bit rushed. It was originally two very small chapters but I merged it into one instead.

Len couldn’t breathe. He was gasping for air but it wouldn’t come, almost like his lungs had shut down on him and given up. Des Connor was standing in the doorway and grinning at him and Len could do nothing about it. He was sweating and shaking, feeling like he was about to throw up as his knees gave out from underneath him. Len caught himself on his bedside table, knocking over his bedside lamp.

Len tried to come up with a plan, he needed to gain control again. But he couldn’t and that terrified him. Len was defenceless right now, his brain had all-but short-circuited on him. He’d lost control. Connor had _taken_ it from him. He felt like a child again, just waiting for his father’s beatings. He felt like how he had just over 4 months ago when Lewis had planted a bomb in Lisa and forced Len to obey his every whim.

The dizziness worsened and Len was suddenly seeing triple, his vision swimming as he fell to the floor completely. He could feel the edge of unconsciousness pulling at him and he resisted as best as he could as his heart continued to race inside of his chest and throat. But it was going to happen, he knew it, he was going to pass out. And if he did, then he was a dead man.

Distantly, he heard Barry calling his name. He tried to warn Barry, but he couldn’t get the words passed his lips. He managed to look up, noticing that Barry was now in the room, but he wasn’t moving. Connor had gotten to him too. Len couldn’t let Connor hurt Barry!

Len managed to get his footing underneath him again and, while Connor was distracted taunting Barry, he took the opportunity to grab the cold gun from his bedside drawer. He aimed and fired, somehow managing to hit Connor with the blast despite the multiple versions he was seeing. The blast probably only grazed Connor though because he didn’t fall back. He _was_ hurt enough that he had to flee though, his hold on Len and Barry weakening.

But it was too late, the edges of his vision were already black and Len only had a few more seconds before he passed out.

Len woke up in STAR Labs. He was in one of the medical beds, hooked up to a heart monitor and an IV, with Barry and Lisa by his side.

“Hey, Lenny,” Lisa said softly and Barry took Len’s hand. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I just had an elephant standing on my chest,” Len admitted with a laugh that made him cringe in pain.

“That’s normal,” Cait said as she appeared in the doorway. Len tried to sit up but both Barry and Lisa stopped him. “You had a heart attack,” she explained and Len nodded because he’d figured as much. “And that, in turn, caused ventricular fibrillation.” Len didn’t know what that meant and it must have shown on his face because Caitlin smiled and explained further. “It’s where the ventricles in your heart stop pumping blood strong enough, cutting off the supply to your other organs such as your lungs. Hence why you fainted.

“We managed to pick it up with an ECG when Barry brought you in, but your heart had already started repairing itself after Des lost his control over you. Thankfully that was before it had done any real damage.” Barry gave his hand a squeeze and Len smiled softly at his boyfriend. “But I gave you some aspirin just to be sure it stayed that way,” Caitlin finished, indicating to the IV in his arm. Len nodded his gratitude.

“Thanks, Doc.”

“With any luck, this will be a one-time thing,” Caitlin said positively. “Usually, when someone has one heart attack they are more prone to have another. But this isn’t exactly a normal situation. Still, if you experience any more symptoms you should talk to me immediately and I’ll get you on some ACE-inhibitors.” Caitlin paused in thought and shrugged. “You know, it wouldn’t hurt to take some preventative steps now anyway, maybe change your diet and exercise around a bit. How does yoga sound to you?” She asked and Len saw Barry’s smirk out of the corner of his eye.

“I, for one, could definitely get behind that,” Barry said appreciatively. But his nonchalant tone sounded forced to Len’s ears.

“You two are disgusting,” Lisa teased with a roll of her eyes. She stood up and squeezed Len’s shoulder. “Glad you’re okay, Bro,” she said earnestly and then turned to leave the room with Caitlin in tow.

“Are you okay?” Len asked once they were alone.

“What? Yeah, of course, I…” Barry paused as though remembering the promise they had made each other: no more lying, no more half-truths. His shoulders sunk. “I just froze, Len. I wanted to help you but I just _couldn’t_. I froze.” Barry ran his fingers through his hair in exasperation. “Des just kept telling me that I was going to lose you, that I was going to lose everyone, and that I would just watch you all die.” Barry’s voice cracked, his eyes red with unshed tears. And in that moment, Len didn’t care how much his chest hurt, he sat up and wrapped his arms around Barry.

“That’s not going to happen,” he whispered against Barry’s skin. “I won’t let it,” he vowed.

“I felt useless,” Barry continued, burying his head in Len’s embrace. “I couldn’t save you, just like I couldn’t save my mum, or find Kendra’s killer, or prevent Iris from being stabbed. And she might still lose her baby because of that!” Len held Barry tighter, despite the twinge in his chest.

“We’ll get him, Barry.” Len started to think up a plan, speaking again only once Barry pulled away. “He’ll be injured, maybe too weak to use his powers. Going after him now might be our best bet,” Len muttered and Barry nodded as he wiped tears from his eyes.

“Yeah, that’s what Lisa said,” Barry said. “Your cold gun was set pretty high when you shot him so Caitlin figures he’ll be in too much pain to just bite through it. Felicity hacked into all the cameras of every hospital and vet’s office in Central and Cisco is running a facial recognition program as we speak, so that we know the second he appears.” Len nodded and removed his IV and the heart monitor before standing up, Barry’s hands shot out to stop him. “Where are you going? You need to rest,” Barry insisted and Len shook his head.

“I’m not just going to lie here while you go off to face Connor, I’m getting ready,” Len insisted. Barry was already shaking his head.

“You just had a heart attack!”

“It was mild,” Len brushed off. He was a bit stiff and his chest still hurt, but he’d felt worse. He felt steady on his feet as he stood up and breathed out a sigh of relief: he was going to be fine. The heart attack hadn’t been anything to do with a fault in his own health, it had been meta-induced. Len reached for his grey crewneck jumper but, before he pulled his sweater on, Len paused. He couldn’t help but wonder why everyone had reacted so differently to Connor’s powers. Was it because of individual biology? Or did Connor have control over their reactions too? If that was true, and Connor could just paralyze them all with fear and take them out one by one, then this mission could prove impossible. Unless there was someone on the sidelines, keeping Connor in their sights while staying out of view: a hidden weapon in case something went wrong.

“I don’t like this, Len,” Barry said softly. Len nodded and tugged on his jumper.

“Don’t worry, Barry,” he said, turning around. “I have a plan.”

[] [] []

Cisco rubbed his eyes and held back a yawn. He, much like the rest of Team Flash, hadn’t gotten much sleep lately. They were all too worried for Iris and itching to catch her attacker. However, as he stared at the too-bright screen, he couldn’t help but regret some of those fruitless long nights he’d spent helping to search for Des. Because right now he needed to stay alert to help his team.

As though she’d read his mind, Lisa appeared beside him with two cups of coffee. He took his from her with a smile of gratitude and kissed her on the cheek.

“This is why I love you,” he murmured as he inhaled the warming smell of caffeine, already feeling more awake.

“Are you talking to me or the coffee?” She asked and Cisco shrugged.

“Can’t it be both?”

“But you love me more, right?” Lisa purred.

“Of course,” Cisco said, reaching for her hand. At that, Lisa smirked devilishly.

“I was talking to the coffee,” she rebuffed, taking a sip and humming in satisfaction.

“Ouch,” Cisco said, and if he wasn’t holding Lisa’s hand then he would have dramatically placed his own against his chest in dismay. “I have tasted my own medicine and it is _bitter_.” Lisa laughed, that magical sound that made Cisco’s heart glow, but whatever she was going to say was cut off by the alert on Cisco’s computer. They both sat to attention.

Cisco dropped her hand and pulled up the facial recognition software to identify where Des Connor had been located, relaying the information to Barry. Lisa, who had stood up now and turned her gold gun on ready, leaned down to kiss Cisco goodbye.

“Be safe,” he told her and Lisa smiled softly back at him.

“Always.” And then she, Barry, and Len were gone. Caitlin joined him at the computers as they pulled up all of the other programs they would need to help their team out. On the security feed, outside of the vet's office which Des had chosen to break into, Barry and Lisa arrived in a flicker of lightning. Barry would have deposited Len somewhere nearby but off screen and out of sight, so he could act as the back-up as planned.

Des spun around to face them instantly, his pixilated face looking shocked. After a moment, he stood up tall again.

“Well, well, well… isn’t _this_ a surprise.”

“Game’s over, Des,” Barry said, his vocal chords vibrating to disguise his voice. But then the sensors in all of their suits went wild, even Len’s.

“You’re right about that.” Neither Lisa nor Barry were moving on the screen, their eyes wide and scared. “But it seems that you don’t realise who’s winning… _Barry_.”

_Crap_.

They’d anticipated that Des might have figured out who Len is, since he’d been shot with the cold gun, but how did he know _Barry’s_ identity too?

“I thought the Flash was supposed to be smarter than this,” Des tutted. “But you haven’t even figured out my power, have you? It’s more than just amplifying fear, Barry. I can sense it, _control_ it. Every person’s fear tastes different, you know. And I’ve spent too much time around Barry Allen to not recognise the scent of your fear. And this is why I’m winning. Because I’m smarter than you. I am the Thinker!”

“Oh, I hate when they come up with their own names,” Cisco muttered in response to the guy’s monologue. “We are not calling him the Thinker. I don’t know _what_ we’re calling him yet, but it’s not _that._ ”

“Not the time, Cisco,” Caitlin reprimanded and Cisco nodded. Right. How could they stop Des from overpowering the team? Think, _think_! How does his power work? Maybe it’s through his voice? Maybe if they blasted a song loud enough through everyone’s comms then it’d be enough to drown Des out and give them the upper hand!

Wait, no, that couldn’t be it. If his power worked through his voice then how was he able to project fear into complete strangers halfway across the city? He would have never been able to cause those riots and pull off those robberies if that was the case. So, if not that, then _how_? The Team’s vitals dropped even lower and they both collapsed to their knees, coughing and gasping for breath. Cisco started panicking, his eyes flicking between Lisa and Barry on the floor as he shouted his girlfriend’s name. Then to their vitals.

Caitlin confirmed that it wasn’t a heart attack… yet. Probably panic attacks. Maybe they were all in luck and Des was too weak to cause heart attacks now he was injured. Or maybe he was only just getting started. Barry and Lisa couldn’t _breathe_. And, although Len wasn’t on screen, his vitals showed that he was in the exact same state. Their plan had disintegrated and Cisco was struggling to find another.

“Love,” Caitlin said suddenly and Cisco shot his head around to look at her.

“... What?”

“It's how Iris took back control,” she continued quickly, looking as though an idea was forming in her mind. “Her mothering instincts kicked in because she loved her baby too much to hurt it.” Okay, that made sense… sort of… but there was a flaw in Caitlin’s thinking.

“So, what? We have to bring Lisa's mum down here to help? Because I don't really think we have the time for that, Caitlin,” Cisco said, panicked. But she just shook her head.

“I don’t think it has to be a parent’s love,” Caitlin muttered. “Remember, it worked for Len, too. He saw Des about to hurt Barry and it snapped him out of it.” She didn’t pause any further before grabbing the microphone that connected to their comms and speaking directly into it. “You need to snap out of this, or you’re all going to die,” Caitlin said, barely keeping her voice calm. “Look at them. Your friends, your family. You love them. You can’t let them die.” Cisco shook his head. If they were going to get through to them, they’d need to take a louder approach.

“Barry!” He shouted into the microphone, making Caitlin jump. He’d apologise for the lack of warning later. “Len is affected too. You’re going to lose him! And Des won’t stop there! He’ll come after me and Caitlin next, then Joe, Henry, Iris and her baby. None of us are safe!” He turned the microphone off just long enough to say “God, I hope you're right about this,” to Caitlin.

“Me too,” she muttered, looking scared. Because if they were wrong then they could just be making this whole thing worse.

They didn’t have the luxury of doubting themselves though, they had to keep going.

[] [] []

“Barry!” Cisco’s voice snapped through the comms.

Barry… Lisa!

They were dying. Len was supposed to be backing them up but he’d been caught out too. He needed to get up. He needed to save them. He needed to take back control. Len fumbled with the anti-meta cuffs as he stumbled to his feet. His legs felt weak, he could barely breathe, but he _wasn’t_ going to let Connor hurt his family.

He managed to focus his double vision, seeing Barry on his hands and knees on the floor. Lisa was struggling to stand up but Des was marching towards her looking like he was ready to attack. Len tensed and put everything he could into this one move, he ran as fast as he could and tackled Connor straight to the floor. Connor was on his front, face in the dirt, he hadn’t seen Len coming. In his surprise, and probably his pain from the frostbite covering his shoulder, Connor lost his control. It was only for a few seconds, but that was all Len needed to gulp in some much-needed air and slap the cuffs on Connor’s wrists.

They buzzed and glowed after being locked into place, and Len sat back in relief. Conor struggled underneath him and Len drew out his gun, soon followed by Lisa. She smiled weakly at her brother, but the tears that were still spilling from her eyes made Len’s chest ache for his sister. Len looked over her shoulder to Barry, who was also standing now but he still looked off. Len frowned, he was almost completely back to normal now and so Barry, being the fastest healer, should be too. Something was wrong.

“Barry?” Len asked cautiously, no point pretending that Connor didn’t already know his identity. Barry shook his head as though to clear it, but he started swaying on his feet. “Barry!” Len stood up quickly, letting Lisa take control of Connor, and rushed to his boyfriend’s side as Barry collapsed. Len managed to catch him just in time before he hit the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m going to attempt to update about once a week from now on. So, expect a new chapter to be posted on Thursday 18th January :)
> 
> And yes, okay, love overcomes fear. I get how super cheesy that is. But I don’t care! FYI, in case it isn’t obvious, the reason love didn’t break Barry out of Des’ control is because his fear is losing everyone he loves. So, it kind of contradicts the cure. Anyway, drop me a comment and let me know your thoughts.


	10. The Curious case of Barry Allen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Len fears for Barry’s life and everyone else is keeping secrets.

With one arm holding Barry up, Len managed to remove the cowl and check Barry’s breathing.

“His vitals are almost normal,” Cait said through the comms, sounding frazzled. “I don’t know what’s wrong!” As though on cue, Connor began laughing. Len scowled at the criminal, feeling justified as Lisa brought the butt of the gun down onto Connor’s face.

“Whoops,” she said, smirking as Connor finally shut up. His gaze returned to Barry’s face, waiting for his boyfriend to wake up and open his eyes. But as the seconds ticked on, nothing happened.

“Hold tight,” Cisco said. “Caitlin’s on the phone to Ronnie now. He’s on his way to find Stein and then Firestorm will be right with you. ETA 20 minutes,” Len shook his head as he looked down into Barry’s face. There was something wrong, really _wrong_ , Len knew it. They might not have the time to wait for Firestorm to get here and there was a parked car just a few feet away…

“Are you okay handling Connor on your own?” Len asked Lisa as he carefully lowered Barry to the ground.

“Easy,” she said and Len nodded because, injured and without his powers, Connor wasn’t much of a threat to a skilled fighter and marksman like his sister. Len turned his cold gun up high and aimed it at the car window, using the butt of the gun to shatter it. As expected, the alarm instantly went off but that wouldn’t be a problem for long and at least it meant that he couldn’t hear Cisco chiding him over the comms. He would fix the window and bring the car back tomorrow, but now Barry needed to get to STAR Labs.

Len swiftly leaned inside to unlock the door using the internal button. He opened the door and quickly pulled away the cheap plastic that covered the wires under the steering wheel. He’d, unfortunately, had some recent practice of breaking into cars while he was forced to work for Lewis, but that came in handy now as he was able to shut off the alarm and start the motor in under 30 seconds.

“I’ll be back at the labs in ten,” Len said into the comms as he picked Barry up and placed him onto the back seat. Once inside he threw the earpiece and his goggles onto the passenger seat and spun out of the carpark. Barry was silent in the back and it was scaring Len, he wanted to drive faster and get him help quicker. But, with Barry unconscious in the Flash suit, Len couldn’t risk getting pulled over by the cops.

The drive was agonisingly slow but the roads were mostly empty. Eventually, Len pulled up to STAR Labs, not even bothering to turn the car off before he bolted from his seat and picked Barry up. He carried him, bridal style, through the doors and met Caitlin halfway to the cortex.

She didn’t say anything about his recent car theft and instead led Len straight to the room she had already set up to monitor Barry in. Len lowered Barry onto the bed and Caitlin took a small light out straight away, opening Barry’s eyes to check his reaction. Len helped her to removed Barry’s suit then he stepped back to let Caitlin work as she attached him to various machines and hooked him up to a couple of IVs.

“What’s wrong with him?” Len asked, not able to hold it in anymore.

“I don’t know,” she sighed and that was just the response that Len had been fearing. “There’s no reason for him to be unconscious right now. His heart rate is a little slow but nothing to be overly concerned about… I’m going to do an EEG,” she muttered and then dug around a little in one of the drawers to pull out a plastic-looking cap covered in electrodes. As Caitlin set that up, Len grabbed a chair and pulled it close to Barry’s bed, noticing Cisco hovering in the doorway as he did.

Len took Barry’s hand and frowned. He was so _warm_ : warm enough that Len could feel the heat of his skin through his gloves. Len took them off and began to touch Barry’s neck and face.

“He’s burning up,” Len informed them, trying to keep the worry out of his voice.

“Don’t worry, he’s always running a little hotter than the rest of us,” Caitlin dismissed and Len shook his head.

“Not like this.” Caitlin frowned and moved over to take Barry’s temperature. Cisco stepped into the room to take over setting up the EEG as she did. The frown didn’t disappear after reading the thermometer she’d placed in Barry’s mouth.

“His body could just be fighting this, whatever it is, off like it would an infection,” she said, looking only mildly concerned. “Barry’s body is capable of going this high in temperature because of his healing capabilities. It’s nothing to get too worried about.” Still, she tugged the blankets off of him, leaving his chest naked to the cool air in the laboratories. “I’ll keep an eye on it,” she promised and Len nodded. With the EEG set up, Caitlin placed the cap carefully onto Barry’s head, informing Len that it could take a while. She started taking a few blood samples and placed them into the vortex before continuing with the test. By the time she had returned to Barry’s side, Lisa was in the doorway.

“How’s he doing?” She asked and Cait repeated everything she had told Len as she stared at the computer monitor. It did, in fact, take a while. It was nearly an hour, and twelve IVs, later before Caitlin removed the cap from Barry’s head and left the room to analyse all the results. Len continued to sit by his boyfriend’s side, holding Barry’s hand with the both of his own. Lisa sat next to him but Cisco, Ronnie, and Stein were in the cortex now. After a moment of silence, Len brought Barry’s hand to his lips, willing Barry to wake up.

“Are you okay?” Lisa asked him now that they were alone and Len just shook his head

“Ask again when Barry’s awake,” he muttered, not wanting to lie to his sister but knowing that she wouldn’t like the truthful answer right now. “Are _you_ okay?”

“Would you let me be the one worrying about _you_ for a change? I’m fine, Lenny.”

“No, you’re not,” he said because none of them were; not just because of Barry but because of what Connor had done to them.

“Well, I’m certainly doing better than you are,” Lisa said and Len just shrugged. They were silent for a moment before Lisa sighed. “It was Lewis… my fear was Lewis,” she confirmed and Len nodded, turning to look at her and offering a sad smile. “It was pretty horrible. It felt like I was seven years old again… nearly thirty years of repression and healing down the drain.”

“I know the feeling.”

Cisco and Caitlin showed back up then, looking worried, and Len prepared himself for the bad news that he could see etched on their faces. Part of Len didn’t want to know what the results had told them.

“Do you know what happened to him?” Lisa asked when no one said anything.

“Not… exactly,” Cisco replied.

“But we have an idea,” Cait finished for him and then stepped closer into the room to address them better. “We all know that Barry’s cells are different than other humans’ because of the explosion that gave him his powers. And the particle accelerator affected everyone differently so Barry’s cells are completely unique to him. With that kind of individuality, it can be hard to predict how he’s going to react to new circumstances. So, even though everyone else who has been under Des’ control has returned back to normal almost instantly, the high level of stress hormones, or perhaps the fear itself, seems to have had a completely different effect on Barry.”

“His body has gone into a sort of… self-protection mode to shut down his stimuli,” Cisco said.

“We’ll have to run more tests to make sure. But as of right now, this is the most likely cause of his coma.”

Coma.

Len’s heart felt constricted in his chest. He nodded silently, turning to look back at his boyfriend on the bed. Barry’s chest was still exposed but it seemed to have no effect on his temperature.

“So, it _is_ a coma then?” He eventually asked. “He’s not going to wake up anytime soon?”

“I can’t be sure. Technically, his brain activity is too high for this to be a coma,” Caitlin said. “It reads more like he’s dreaming. But, that could just be another biological difference caused by the speed force.” So what she was saying was that he could wake up in an hour, or a year… or not at all. “He might wake up by himself,” Cait said, her tone of voice telling Len not to get his hopes up. Or maybe Len was just projecting on that one?

“But if he doesn’t,” Cisco continued promptly. “We’ll just have to find a way to override this.”

[] [] []

To: **_Linda_**  
Draft: _**10:25am**_ **  
**Hey. Yesterday was really fun. We should do it again sometime.****

Wally’s finger hovered over the ‘send’ button on his phone, his heart hammering in his chest before he finally just bit the bullet and sent it. He tried not to feel anxious as he walked up the steps to his front door and fumbled for his keys. He got a reply before he’d even stepped into the threshold of the house.

From: **_Linda_**  
Received: **_10:26am_**  
****I’d like that.****

From: **_Linda_**  
Received: **_10:26am_** **  
**Any plans tonight? I might be convinced to take a few hours off work for dinner and a movie ;)****

“Inside or out, Wally? I don’t have the money to heat the whole damn street,” Joe called to him and Wally sighed, _what had put him in a bad mood_? Whatever, Wally wasn’t going to let it get him down. His coffee date with Linda yesterday had gone better than expected and she _already_ wanted to see him again! Now he just had to find a way to hide his good mood from Joe so that his dad didn’t figure out he was dating. Wally loved his dad, he did, but he could be unreasonable at times and Wally didn’t want the third degree about dating someone so much older than himself.

Wally looked up from his phone as he walked into the house, closing the door behind him, and noticed the sullen look in his father’s eyes. He shoved his phone into his pocket for a moment and stepped closer.

“What’s wrong, Dad?” Wally asked, thinking about Iris and her baby. Had she had a miscarriage? Now Wally felt even worse about going to the party last night. Iris had insisted that he go out and have fun to celebrate the end of the exam semester; but if something had happened to her while he was out partying _again_ , he would never forgive himself. He should have been there for his sister.

“It’s nothing. Something at work. How was your night? And remember, I’m a detective, so keep any drinking stories to yourself. I want plausible deniability,” Joe deflected with a joke and that grated at Wally’s last nerve.

“You’re keeping something from me,” he accused, finally bold enough to stand against it. “You, and Barry, and even Iris. You are _always_ keeping something from me and I am fed up with it!” He immediately regretted his brief outburst as Joe became angry, pointing his finger at Wally and looking like he was going to argue back.

But then Joe closed his mouth and deflated, rubbing his eyes.

“You’re right,” he said to Wally’s surprise. “Iris wanted to tell you but I was worried about you getting involved and getting hurt… but you deserve to know.” Wally moved to sit down on the arm of the sofa as he waited for his father to elaborate. “Barry’s the Flash.”

Wally laughed. He couldn’t help it. He wanted to be angry that Joe was joking around about this but the serious way that he said it, all matter-of-fact, was just hilarious.

“Yeah right, Dad,” Wally said in between his gasps for air. “And I’m the Arrow.”

“Wally, I’m not joking,” Joe said. “Barry _is_ the Flash… and now he’s in a coma.” Wally sat up a little straighter as the humour left him. His dad wouldn’t joke about _that_ , about one of them being injured, Wally was sure of it. But that would mean he was telling the truth about Barry being the Flash too and… that was impossible.

Right?

But things were clicking into place now. All of the little quirks that Wally had originally hated about Barry but had slowly gotten used to over the months. Like why he was always running off in the middle of their family time. And why he ate so much damn food but never seemed to put on weight. Not forgetting those God-awful energy bars that Wally had found in Barry’s bag once that made him feel like he was on a sugar high for like a day and a half. And there was so much more…

It was insane! But it actually kind of made sense…

Wally quickly unlocked his phone to text Linda back.

To: **_Linda_**  
Sent: _**10:33am**_ **  
**Sorry, I can’t. There’s a family emergency. Raincheck?****

He hoped that would be enough for now. But he could sense that this whole thing between them was going to get a lot more complicated from now on. Wally locked his phone and Joe took him to STAR Labs to see Barry.

[] [] []

Len woke to talking in the room, realising that he had fallen asleep at Barry’s side, his neck and shoulders stiff and sore from the awkward position he’d been sleeping in. He opened his eyes and looked at the bed, despite knowing that if Barry had woken up then they would have woken him too. As expected, Barry’s eyes were still closed and he was still hooked up to several IVs and the heart rate monitor.

He rubbed his eyes as he noticed that Joe and, surprisingly, Wally had joined them. Caitlin was explaining to them both about what had happened and Wally was looking on with impossibly wide eyes. His obvious and poorly concealed amazement almost made Len want to laugh. But he was too exhausted for that, both emotionally and physically. Len excused himself to go to the toilet and wash up a little, thankful not for the first time that STAR Labs had its own shower room.

He realised that it had been over 12 hours since he last ate anything and that he should probably be hungry, but food was the last thing he wanted right then. When he returned to Barry’s room, Caitlin was taking more samples of Barry’s blood.

“Why do you keep doing that?” Len asked and she shrugged.

“Just… checking his vitals.” There was something off about the way she said it, though. Len shook his head. He’d only had a couple of hours sleep so he was probably just imagining things. He took his seat once more by Barry’s side, opposite where Joe was now sitting.

“I told Wally,” Joe said, the youngest West nowhere to be seen and so Len had to assume he was in the cortex with Cisco. Joe still hadn’t completely warmed to Len yet, if he ever would, still cautious of the older, former-criminal, that his son was dating. But although his tone was curt, Len could discern the apology underneath for exposing his secret along with Barry’s.

“I know,” Len nodded. He didn’t care that Wally knew, he had bigger things to worry about. They sat in silence for a moment longer.

“I called Henry. He’s on his way.”

Len shouldn’t be surprised at that: with Barry in a coma, of _course_ someone would call his Dad. That didn’t stop him from worrying any less though. He hadn’t met Henry Allen yet and meeting the parents was _always_ stressful. But in a dire situation like this, it would be even worse. Len just nodded.

“You’ll be fine,” Joe said, apparently picking up on Len’s concerns. “Henry will like you.” And that was probably the nicest thing Joe had ever said to Len without Barry around.

“Thanks.”

“You should go home and get some rest,” Joe said. “I’ll stay here for Barry and I’ll ring you if he wakes up.” Len started to protest, not wanting to leave Barry’s side, but Joe shook his head. “This is the second time I’ve been by Barry’s bedside while he’s in a coma,” he reminded Len. “And if the first time taught me anything, it was that we need to look after ourselves too. Even when all we can think about is Barry’s wellbeing.”

“I get that,” Len said, even as his heart clenched tighter. Barry’s first coma had lasted for nine months… what if that happened again?

“Barry’s strong. He’ll pull through this. We just have to wait.” Len sighed and nodded, eventually agreeing to go home though he doubted he’d be able to get much sleep.

His bike was still parked outside his apartment and so he had to walk, but the brisk winter air cleared his head a little. He realised he had things to do and started putting together an action plan. He had to take some time off work, call his parents to reschedule family dinner, and then he had the trial to prepare for… in just over two weeks he would have to get up in front of a jury and explain how Lewis Snart had kidnapped and blackmailed him.

It was going to brutal, and the defence was going to pick him apart to try to unravel his story, and he was going to have to see Lewis’ smug face again. And Len _really_ needed Barry by his side for it.

[] [] []

He managed to get a couple of hours sleep in his own bed, though he wouldn’t exactly describe them as ‘restful’, before being woken by a car horn outside his bedroom window. He showered again, shaved, dressed in fresh clothes, and finally managed to eat a meal before heading out. He stopped at Jitters on the way back to STAR Labs to pick up some coffee and he took a moment to tell his boss that a family member was in a coma so that he could ask for some time off for the next week, hoping that Barry would be awake long before then.

His boss didn’t exactly look happy with the last minute request but she allowed it anyway, to Len’s relief: he _really_ didn’t want to have to search for a new job while he was still saving for college. Back at the labs, he gave out coffee to everyone, frowning when Stein and Cisco stopped talking as he entered the cortex. He tried to shake off the feeling that they were keeping something from him.

“What’s wrong?” He asked and Cisco took a sip of his coffee instantly without even blowing on it. So either he was _that_ desperate for some caffeine or he was biding a bit more time. As expected, he pulled away almost instantly, grimacing at the heat.

“ _Crap_ , that’s hot,” he muttered and then moved to take a glug from his water bottle instead. Len turned his eyes to Stein, but he didn’t know the older scientist very well since he and Ronnie had retired from the superhero life after the singularity had nearly killed them both.

“We’re discussing what to do with Mr Connor,” Stein said without pause. “Since he now knows the identity of both the Flash and Captain Cold.” Len nodded. He’d purposefully not given much thought to the man locked in the pipeline. Connor had caused Barry’s coma. None of them knew _how_ but it _had_ to have been him. And if Len gave it too much thought then he might end up doing something he shouldn’t…

He couldn’t help but think how much better it would have been if he had shot Connor in the chest instead of the shoulder, ending the problem once and for all.

But Len knew he didn’t want that really. He’d never killed someone before, though he had been a bystander while Lewis had killed several men, and he never wanted to. Len returned to Barry’s room, noting that Iris and Eddie had joined Joe. He apologised for not having coffees for them but they just brushed it off with sad smiles.

Len stood in the back of the room with Eddie as Joe and Iris sat by Barry’s side. After a little while, Cait came in with some cooling packs which she attached to Barry’s body.

“What are those for?” Iris asked and Caitlin gave her a reassuring smile.

“His fever.”

“I thought the fever was a good thing?” Len said. “That it shows he’s fighting this off.”

“It is,” she assured them all. “We just want to be able to control it a bit better,” Cait said, securing the last of the cooling packs onto Barry’s body and swiftly leaving. But Len knew something was wrong: he’d brushed off too much to ignore any longer. He quickly excused himself and followed Caitlin out of the room.

“Hey!” he called. “What are you not telling us? Why do you keep testing Barry’s blood? And why are you so worried about his fever all of a sudden?” Caitlin looked conflicted for a moment before grabbing Len’s arm and leading him away. They walked into a nearby laboratory and closed the door before she started talking.

“I didn’t want to worry anyone.” _Too late_ , Len thought. “Because right now this is only a theory. But there _might_ be a reason for concern.”

“What’s wrong with Barry?” Len asked.

“His fever… it seems to be the by-product of an increased metabolic rate. Increased even for Barry’s standards… his cells are ageing and dying too quickly and his cellular regeneration isn’t countering it as well as it did before,” Caitlin explained. “And, worse, he seems to be stuck in a positive feedback loop: as his cells die, his body temperature increases. And that causes more cells to die, which in turn raises his fever more and causes _more_ cell death…” Caitlin was getting a little frantic and she had to take a deep breath to calm herself. “In other words… Barry’s ageing. Quickly. And I’m struggling to find a way to stop it.”

And, just like that, Len’s world felt like it was collapsing around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like this. I was really excited to post it once, but now I’m unsure about it. Let me know your thoughts! Also, I momentarily shortened the chapter count on this fic to 13 but now I’ve decided to expand it again to 18… that might even go up to 21 chapters, depending on whether I decide to do another sequel or just add a few epilogues on… Do you guys have any preferences for that?


	11. Don't you cry no More

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lisa has a revelation about her relationship with Cisco and Len meets Barry's dad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I forgot to post yesterday! I usually upload the new chapter into my drafts in the morning and then post it when I'm at work at like 6-7pm. But it just slipped my mind. But, hey, on the Brightside, that means one less day to wait for chapter 12 :)

Lisa was sitting by Barry’s side as she waited for Len. She knew her brother was in a lot of pain right now and she wanted to be there for him, but there was something about sitting in a hospital room (though this wasn’t actually a _hospital_ ) that unsettled her. Joe and Wally were talking to Barry as though he was awake, which was supposed to help him recover but it was sad to witness.

“If you don’t wake up soon, Dude,” Cisco said as he changed the cooling packs on Barry’s body. “I’m going to have to break out those Lady Gaga CDs that you love so much,” he joked. Lisa laughed though she didn’t fully understand the joke. Still, it made the air in the room feel less suffocating. Cisco was good at doing that.

“He’d probably wake up just to slap you,” Iris said, appearing in the doorway. Cisco considered that for a moment and then shrugged.

“Worth it.”

Lisa stood up to give Iris her seat and Iris smiled at her in thank you.

“I thought you were on bedrest,” Joe said, frowning. And at that, Iris’ smile turned into a grin. She shared a look with Eddie who stood behind her chair, also grinning – though Lisa was hard-put to find a time when Eddie _wasn’t_ smiling. Today it was different though.

“We got the all-clear,” Eddie announced, his hand on Iris’ shoulder.

“I mean, we’re not completely out of the woods until the wound is healed,” Iris said. “And I still have to take things easy… but the doctor said that if we were going to have a miscarriage, it probably would have happened by now.”

“So, our little girl is safe and healthy,” Eddie beamed.

“Girl?” Wally asked. “I’m going to have a little niece?”

“No.” Iris shook her head. “It’s going to be a boy. I can feel it.”

“I beg to differ,” Eddie said and Iris rolled her eyes as though this was a common argument. “We won’t know the sex of the baby for another couple of weeks,” Eddie explained. Lisa and Cisco both left the room, hugging Eddie and Iris and giving them their congratulations, to give the West family some alone time. They headed towards the cortex and Lisa reached out to hold Cisco’s hand, feeling comfort in his presence.

“Are you okay?” He asked, obviously having picked up on something. She smiled but it felt forced. When they entered the cortex, she pulled back and moved to lean against the computers, looking at Cisco as he stood in the doorway to the otherwise-empty room.

“I don’t want to be afraid anymore,” she admitted, hoping that Cisco got the meaning behind her words. She saw the gears turning in his head and she knew that _he_ knew. She wasn’t talking about Des Connor, nor the fear that he had brought out in her. She was talking about the fear of intimacy that had been hanging over Lisa ever since her last boyfriend had attacked her. Needless to say, she had a few intimacy and trust issues because of it. It left her with the fear of being physically vulnerable with another man. The same fear that had kept her and Cisco from having sex for the past few months.

“I… are you sure?” He asked. “You’re not going to change your mind? I mean, if you do change your mind then that is completely okay, you know. Just tell me and we’ll put it behind us,” he rambled a little and she smiled for real. Cisco could always make her smile. He made her happy and she really cared for him. She loved him.

But she had also loved Roscoe once. Hated him, but loved him. Despised him, but trusted him. They'd been together, on and off, for _years_... But he had turned on her. He'd worked with Lewis, he’d knocked her out and put a _bomb_ in her neck. It was hard to get past that kind of thing. Cisco was amazing: he completely understood Lisa's reserves about being intimate with anyone so soon after... everything. He’d never pressured her or made her feel like she was worthless. She’d never felt like she might lose him. Not until now, that was. Not until she saw Len agonising next to Barry’s bed.

The reality of their lives, how dangerous it was, finally settled on Lisa. It could have been her lying in that bed… someday it might be _Cisco_ … She hoped to God that day would never come, but if it did she didn’t want to have any regrets.

“I love you,” she said, not for the first time. “I _trust_ you.” She pushed away from the computers and cupped Cisco’s face in her hands. She _did_ trust him. She trusted him with her life. She kissed Cisco quickly, softly. “I think I’m ready,” she whispered. He answered her with a grin that made her roll her eyes and laugh. “Once this has all calmed down,” she promised. They’d had a date planned for tomorrow night but that had been before Barry went into a coma. She didn’t want to pull Cisco away from his work right now, it wasn’t right.

She pulled back with a smile, hoping to hide her nerves slightly. If Cisco mistook her nerves for something more than they were, he would never go through with this. And that was just the kind of thing that she loved about him. But right now she was confident and excited about her choice to finally have sex with her boyfriend.

Lisa sat down at the computers, looking first at the monitor which showed her the security footage in Barry’s room and then at the one which showed the footage of the pipeline. She frowned and sat up a little straighter. Both computers were on silent and so Lisa turned the sound on for the second monitor. Instantly, the sounds of Des Connor crying filtered into the cortex.

“What the hell?” Cisco said, taking the seat next to Lisa. “Why is our villain crying? They don’t cry. He’s not supposed to cry. He’s supposed to be angry and all ‘ _you’ll rue the day you locked up the Thinker_ ’,” Cisco said, putting on a voice, shaking his fist in the air, and cringing as he used the name that Connor had given himself.

“Has anyone in the pipeline ever actually done that?” Lisa asked, smirking. Cisco shrugged and blushed.

“Once…”

“Was it you that time that you accidentally locked yourself in a cell?”

“I… yes…” he said and Lisa laughed, shaking her head in amusement.

Still… Cisco had a point. Connor had come across very callous and sociopathic. In her experience as a social worker, people like that were experts in hiding their true motives and emotions. So, seeing this, seeing Connor break down in tears, was just unsettling.

“I’m going to grab Caitlin,” Cisco said, sobering, and Lisa nodded.

“I’ll meet you down there,” she said and they left together, heading their separate ways. Lisa waited outside the entrance to the particle accelerator, behind the locked metal door that opened right in front of Connor’s cell. She couldn’t hear his sobs from behind it, but she figured that he was still crying.

When Caitlin and Cisco arrived, she swiftly unlocked the door. Connor was sitting on the floor of his cell, head between his knees and arms covering his face. After hearing their arrival, his head shot back up and he immediately wiped the tears from his face. He didn’t move to stand up though and looked small and fragile on the floor.

“Is Barry okay?” He asked, with none of the power behind his voice that he’d had during their last (and, admittedly, first) encounter.

“ _’Okay’_ is a vague term,” Caitlin responded, she was standing tall and stiff. “He’s alive.” Connor rubbed his hand over his eyes, down his face, and then up through his hair before he eventually stood up. He was shorter, skinnier, than Lisa remembered.

“I didn’t mean to hurt him,” Connor said.

“You hunted Barry down and tried to kill him and his family,” Lisa accused. She was trying to keep a calm face on, but it was hard. Connor had ripped her open and left her feeling like an exposed wire. Her emotions were sparking inside of her, unable to ground and stabilise, and she was struggling to keep control over it.

“No, I…” Connor was shaking his head. “I didn’t… I didn’t mean to. I didn’t…” he grabbed his head, frustrated, his fingers threading through his brunette hair and holding on tightly. Tears were forming in his reddened eyes once more. “It wasn’t _me_. I didn’t have control. I would _never_ …” He was spiralling and it took Lisa by surprise. Caitlin stepped closer to his cell, her hands raised in a calming manner.

“Take a breath,” she said. “And explain it to us.” There was no accusation in her voice, her tone was just soft and comforting. “What happened?”

“I… I discovered it, what I could do, about a year ago,” he started after eventually dropping his hand back to his side. “I didn’t want to use it. It was an accident. I didn’t want to make people feel… what I felt.”

“What you felt?” Cisco prodded.

“PTSD,” Connor answered, leaning back against the wall and slumping down to the ground again. “From my years in the military.” He sat with his knees once more pulled up to his chest, looking down at the floor instead of their faces. He shook his head. “But then I discovered that I could take the fear _away_. And… and I thought it was a gift. I thought it was my new start…”

Lisa’s eyes widened with a realisation: Connor had used his powers to take his _own_ fear away. That explained why he was acting so different now, still wearing the power-dampening cuffs that Len had put on him 2 nights ago, than he had been the other time she’d met him. But things still weren’t adding up.

“So, losing your fear suddenly made you a murderer?” Lisa accused. Because Connor had tried to _kill_ Iris, her baby, Lenny… all unprovoked. He'd sought them out.

“No, I… It wasn’t just my fear. I mean, at first, it was. But slowly other things started slipping too,” Connor said, hands in his hair again. “Happiness, excitement, regret, sadness… I couldn’t feel anything. And I didn’t realise until long after it was all gone. That’s why I started gambling. I… it gave me a thrill that I’d been missing. It was the only thing that kept me going.”

“But then you lost it all,” Cisco said and Connor nodded.

“I did. And started stealing. The first time to pay off the debt… but then it became more intoxicating than gambling and… It made me feel alive.”

“How did you do it?” Cisco asked, taking advantage of the situation to get answers to some of the questions that had bothered him. “How did you create all of those riots from so far away?” Lisa was also intrigued by this. Try as they might for the past two weeks, they had never been able to figure out how Des had instigated fear in enough civilians to create a riot in one location, while he simultaneously committed a robbery several miles away.

“I planted a camera ahead of time,” Connor said, the look of self-hatred and regret was written across his whole face. “So long as I can picture someone’s face and I know their exact location in relation to me… I can use my power on them. But, the further away they are, the harder it is for me to control.”

“So, you _can_ control it then?” Caitlin asked. “You can control how people react to your powers? It’s not just random?” Des nodded weakly. “What did you do to Barry that it made him collapse? Were you doing anything different than what you were doing to Len and… Golden Glider?” She prodded, remembering at the last minute that Connor didn’t know Lisa’s identity yet. Or… maybe he did? Because his eyes instantly shifted to look at Lisa. It only lasted a second, but it made her tense.

“Nothing. They were all going to have heart attacks,” Connor said; his voice was remorseful but his words still sent a shiver down Lisa’s spine. “But, it takes a while to build people up to more intense reactions. Especially when I’m trying to control more than one person at a time.” Lisa made a mental note of that as it could be useful in the future. She just hoped that Des was telling them the truth: it _seemed_ like he was, but she found it was odd that he was being so forthcoming about everything.

“You said that you could taste Barry’s fear,” she said. “What did you mean by that?”

“It’s… complicated,” Connor continued. “Taste isn’t quite right. It’s… it’s like a sixth sense. I can’t describe it. I just… knew. Just like I knew that Leonard was hiding on the other side of the building. Like… short-range sonar, I guess.”

“Is there anything else you can tell us that might help?” Caitlin asked and Des shook his head.

“I… I don’t know. I don’t think so.” Caitlin nodded and promised that she would be back if she had any more questions before she turned to leave. “Wait,” Connor called, scrambling to stand up again. “Can I talk to Barry?” He asked.

“That isn’t possible right now,” Caitlin replied curtly and then left with Lisa and Cisco following shortly behind her. They locked the door again and talked as they walked back to the cortex.

“What he just told us, could any of that help Barry?” Lisa asked and Caitlin nodded.

“I think so. Before, we were working on the assumption that Des caused the release of agonists and antagonists which directly targeted neurons in the central nucleus of the amygdala and –”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, Doc,” Lisa butted in. “You’ve already lost me. I understood none of that.”

“We thought that he could release molecules that activated or blocked neurons in the part of our brain that controls emotions,” Caitlin elaborated. “But he doesn’t. If what he said was true and long-term exposure to his powers caused some sort of psychopathy in him, then it’s just too complex to be due to a classic neurotransmitter alone.

“A neurotoxin might make more sense,” she continued. “But that kind of cell damage would take much longer than two days to recover from. That, plus the fact that he doesn’t have to be in contact with someone to use his power on them, makes me think that it doesn’t have a physical cause at all.”

“It’s telepathic!” Cisco said, coming to the same realisation as Caitlin had.

“Exactly,” she confirmed. “Des doesn’t induce fear in anyone. He makes your brain misread its own signals to make you _think_ that you’re afraid and act accordingly.”

“And that’s why he knew Barry’s identity,” Cisco nodded along as they entered the cortex. “And where Len was hiding. Because he was sensing their minds. Just… without realising it.”

“What does that mean? Why is it important?” Lisa asked.

“Because we’ve been thinking about Barry’s condition all wrong. If it’s not a physical condition, if there is nothing wrong with his cells, then he can’t heal it. And we can’t heal it with any of the treatments we’ve been developing.” Caitlin looked sad, but Lisa could also tell that her brain was working in full force. She was already forming an idea. “What if, when Len tackled Des, he surprised him? And Des unconsciously increased his hold on Barry? The sudden increase and then rapid decrease of Des’ control could have sent him into this shock.”

“But, wouldn’t that have happened to us too?” Lisa asked, confused. Her and Len had both been under Des’ control at that time too. Cisco shook his head.

“No, you and your brother were recovering already. Des had less of a hold on the two of you, your vitals were improving. But Barry, for whatever reason, just kept getting worse…” Lisa knew that she had nothing to offer in this conversation, it wasn’t her area of expertise. She liked the idea of being a hindrance even less than she liked the idea of being left out of the loop.

“Go,” Lisa encouraged them. “Find something to treat Barry’s… mental block. Then maybe my brother will start smiling again,” she laughed, though her heart gave a clench as the joke rung true in her own ears. Caitlin didn’t need any more prodding: she smiled at Lisa and quickly exited the cortex. Cisco kissed Lisa on the cheek and then he too was quickly rushing off.

Lisa sat down on the computer chair and looked at the monitor in front of her. Barry was in the exact same position as he had been 20 minutes ago. Except now Len was in the room with Iris and Eddie. Lisa looked at Barry on the monitor and sighed: Caitlin had been saying since the beginning that this wasn’t like a normal coma and now they had proof of that. But what did it mean for Barry? Was he simply asleep? Or was he experiencing that locked-in syndrome that Lisa had heard about from that one episode of House? Was he in pain?

She didn't know, but she just had to hope that he was peaceful.

[] [] []

When Henry Allen showed up, he spent only a few minutes by Barry’s side before demanding to know everything that was wrong with his son. And so Caitlin told him, told them all, everything that they knew. It wasn’t like she could, or should, keep it a secret for much longer anyway. Len listened to them talk, but when it got too technical the words started flying over his head.

The only thing that was important was that Barry was still ageing and no one knew how to stop it. Len took Barry’s hand and squeezed it as Caitlin discussed blood transfusions and oxidative stress and a hormone called cortisol with Henry.

Once getting all the facts and results of their previous tests, Henry began work. He was like a storm: he didn’t give himself time to worry, he just set to work bouncing ideas off of Caitlin, not letting anything get in his way when it came to helping his son. In a way, it reminded Len of Barry.

“Has he exhibited any other signs of ageing?” Henry asked after checking all of Caitlin’s results: something about how Barry’s telomeres were short enough to suggest he was well into his thirties. Chromosomes weren’t exactly Len’s forte and so he was struggling to understand the science behind what they were saying, but he just nodded along instead of asking for more information, hoping not to slow anyone down (which was just ironic, actually, considering that Captain Cold’s whole job was to do just that and slow everyone down). But this question he knew the answer to.

“Nothing major,” Len said. “He has more freckles now.”

“Okay... okay, good.” Henry nodded. They were working on the theory that Barry’s cellular regeneration would kick back in when he woke up, but no one knew whether it would be able to reverse the ageing that had already occurred.

Henry instantly went back to his notes, much to Len’s relief. Henry hadn’t bothered much with Len yet, not after the simple introduction and handshake, and Len was glad for it: not only because he hated trying to impress parents, but also because he knew that Henry was putting all of his effort into saving Barry. Eventually, everyone went home. Eddie took Iris home first, she was still recovering from being stabbed and so they didn’t want to push their luck with being too active too soon. Then Lisa got called away to an emergency at work. And not long later, Joe and Wally left, Joe pausing by Len’s chair long enough to remind him to get some sleep.

And Len was going to, he had every plan to go home and sleep for a few hours. But then he started reading to Barry from a random book he found in the Labs. It was a fantasy book about war and zombies and dragons, something that Len vaguely recognised from the TV adaption that Barry was always talking about to Cisco. Len had never actually gotten around to watching it, despite how much Barry had begged him to start marathoning it. The thought of that made his stomach churn.

“When you wake up,” Len said. “I’ll watch this damn show with you.” Len continued to read the story aloud to Barry until his eyes ached and he eventually fell asleep on the chair.

When he woke up some hours later, the room was quiet and dimmed. Henry was asleep on the opposite side of Barry’s bed and there was a blanket draped over Len that he had to assume Cait had put on him. The lights were still on in the room but it looked as though he and Henry were the only two people who had stayed. Len decided to get up to grab a drink and stretch his legs (and his back, it was going to kill him to keep falling asleep in these chairs).

When he got back and sat by Barry, he brushed his fingers over his boyfriend’s head to move his hair out of the way. It was getting greasy, Len would have to wash it for him tomorrow… Len was wondering how exactly he could manage that when his eyes caught sight of the cluster of grey hairs around Barry’s temple. They hadn’t been there before Len had fallen asleep. That many had turned grey within just a few hours? Len had known Barry was ageing but actually seeing it was different.

Len’s chest felt tight as the worry sank in. What if they couldn’t wake Barry in time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ever since the 2nd chapter of Lightning Hot, I could never quite decide whether Lisa was a lawyer or a social worker. She’d be kick-ass in any job, to be honest. But I finally decided that social worker was the one for her (though she probably has to physically restrain herself from beating the shit out of dead-beat parents). Do you think I made the right choice?
> 
> Also, what did you think about Des in this chapter? I’m trying to give my villains more depth as I’ve realised that it’s probably my weakest spot when writing. So, thoughts? Any further improvements you would suggest? Don’t be worried about saying something that might hurt my feelings. I’m literally asking for it, lol. I want to get better.


	12. Sandman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry is still in a coma and ageing faster than a non-speedster would be capable of, but the team are one step closer to figuring this out - if only they could agree on their next course of action...

“Does he hate me?” Henry asked over coffee in the morning; it was the first chance they’d really had to talk. They were by Barry’s side again, the only ones who were in the Labs this early in the morning, though Len would bet that Caitlin would be joining them soon enough.

“Never. Why?” Len asked. Barry had a hard time hating _anyone_ , let alone his own _father_.

“Because I disappeared on him,” Henry said, taking a sip of his drink. “I wouldn’t blame him if he hated me.”

“Barry doesn’t hate easily, it’s not in his nature,” Len said and Henry nodded. He was silent for a moment but Len could tell that he was just organising his thoughts.

“You know what happened to Barry’s mother, right?” He asked and waited until Len nodded before continuing. “After that night, he spent _fifteen years_ trying to prove my innocence and get me out of Iron Heights. And when he finally succeeded, I was too scared to stick around.” Henry admitted with a shake of his head, his eyes downcast to the coffee cup in his hands. “My little boy was a full grown man and I didn’t know how to cope with that. I didn’t know him anymore, I didn’t know how to act around him or be his father. So, instead of learning, I left.”

“Do you regret it?” Len asked though the answer was written all over Henry’s face. Barry’s father nodded. “Then do something about it. Before it’s too late.” They both looked at Barry then, at the grey hairs framing his face and the first signs of laughter lines around his eyes. The thought that it might _already_ be too late hung over their heads and suddenly neither man felt much like talking anymore.

To Len’s surprise, Lisa was the first person to show up. She brought with her a box of pastries and a couple of breakfast baps. Which she handed out to Len and Henry before sitting down.

“I figured neither of you would be eating properly,” she said by way of explanation and Len smiled his thanks to her. Cait and Stein both showed up before Len had finished eating and so Len and Lisa decided to get out of everyone’s way for a little while. Len didn’t much feel like leaving the Labs and so they just walked around the premises for a while, slowly though since Len’s back was feeling stiff from sleeping in the chair again last night.

As they walked, Lisa filled him in on the conversation she, Caitlin, and Cisco had shared with Des Conner yesterday. It managed to distract Len for a little while but he was soon reminded that it’d been a few days now since Barry fell into his coma and Len’s first shift back at work was slowly approaching. It made him feel sick to know that Barry might still be in a coma when that day came. Even worse was the thought that he might be in a coma throughout Lewis’ trial…

But Lisa and Len never talked about their biological father, not unless they had to, and today was no exception even though he was on both of their minds.

When they got back to Barry’s room, it wasn’t to good news. Joe had shown up now too and Henry was running another EEG on Barry while Caitlin explained to Joe, and now Len and Lisa too, how they’d done some new blood and chromosome tests and discovered that Barry’s ageing was accelerating day by day.

“He may have only aged a year during his first day but now he’s ageing several years a day. And it’s just going to keep getting worse,” Caitlin explained and Len felt like he couldn’t breathe. He had that itch under his skin, that anxiety attack that was looming in the corner, that made him want to just jump on the back of his bike and ride until he could breathe properly again. But he couldn’t leave Barry like that. _Hell_ , how could he even go home for a proper night’s sleep in a real bed if Barry was ageing that fast? What if, by the time he came back, Barry had aged ten years?

“How do we stop it?” Lisa asked and the silence that followed made Len’s heart sink lower. No one knew how to stop Barry’s ageing and the deadline was coming faster and faster… and for the first time, Len truly considered the possibility that they _couldn’t_ stop it… that Barry might _really_ die. “Come on, Guys. This is literally a room full of geniuses. You can do this!” She encouraged as Len slipped further into his pit of despair.

“We will,” Cait said, nodding even as she was frowning. “It’s just… we don’t know enough about how Des’ powers work yet. Without that, we don’t know where to even start counteracting Barry’s ageing.”

“What if you had some way to test Connor’s powers in a controlled environment?” Len offered as an idea emerged: if Caitlin could monitor Des while he used his powers on _Len_ , then maybe she could figure out what was going on inside of Barry. “So that you could see _exactly_ what happens when they’re being used?” He asked. Cisco was the first one to see the meaning behind Len’s words, he started shaking his head and stepping forward.

“Barry wouldn't want you to do that,” he said. And Len knew it was true: Barry wouldn’t want Len to put himself in danger to save him. But, that didn’t mean that Len shouldn’t do it.

“Yeah, well, I don't want him to die. So, he'll just have to live with it,” Len said, adamant that he would do whatever it took to save Barry’s life. Now it was Caitlin’s turn to shake her head.

“Using Des is a good idea,” she said. “But you’re not a speedster, Len. Des’ powers could work on you in an entirely different way than they work on Barry,” she reminded them. Caitlin took a deep breath and sighed before continuing. “Which is why we should be monitoring Des using his powers on Barry, instead.”

“ _What_?” Joe, who had been mostly silent since Len and Lisa had returned, erupted.

“Just… hear me out,” she said, raising her hands outwards in a calming fashion. “We believe that Des has control over more than just fear, more than just emotions. You took him by surprise when you tackled him,” she addressed Len. “He was using his powers but Barry was the only one he truly had control of at that time. Since Barry is the only one who was affected, reason says that whatever it was had to have happened then.

“So, what if in his surprise, Des unconsciously reached out and took full control of Barry’s mind?” Caitlin said. “But only for that split millisecond before his powers slipped from him completely. That is just the kind of thing that would make a brain, for lack of a better word, short circuit. And that caused… _this_ ,” she finished gesturing to Barry on the bed. “We’ve been trying medical solutions to fix this… but it’s not a _medical_ problem.”

“A meta problem needs a meta solution,” Cisco agreed, though he didn’t look happy about it. “Des might be able to… _unlock_ Barry’s mind again.”

“I can’t believe you’re actually considering this,” Joe said, shaking his head violently. “You want to let that guy around Barry again? _Without_ his cuffs on? Are you kidding me?”

“It’s our best option, Joe,” Stein said, they must have all been considering it for a while… but Joe wasn’t about to budge on this.

“It’s _not_ happening,” he insisted. And Len… Len didn’t know what to think. He didn’t want to put Barry in danger any more than Joe did. But he trusted Cisco and Caitlin; if they were saying this was the best course of action then he had to believe in them. “And what if he’s playing you?” Joe continued. “What if he knows _exactly_ what is happening to Barry? What if those power-dampening cuffs of yours are malfunctioning and _Connor_ is the one causing this? It would explain why Barry keeps getting worse, why he started ageing in the first place, and why none of you can find out why.”

“Actually, I may have a theory about that,” Henry said from across the room. All eyes turned his way but he was staring down at the computer screen. Len recognised the graph on the screen as EEG results, though he couldn’t tell what was so interesting about them that had Henry’s brow furrowed in deep concentration. He turned the screen so Cisco and Caitlin had a better view and pointed at a specific spike on the graph. “Here. This section is from ten minutes ago when Cisco came into the room and his phone started ringing,” Henry explained.

“Huh…” Caitlin muttered, stepping closer. Len looked at Lisa and then Joe.

“Care to explain?” He asked.

“His brainwaves changed pattern… almost as though he was awake,” Henry said and then moved the graph to point at another section. “And here it is again. This was only a few seconds ago when Joe was arguing with Caitlin. His heart rate also picked up,” Henry said and Caitlin instantly moved to the heart rate monitor to print out a report. “We’ve seen irregularities like this in his previous tests but never knew what caused it. But now… this means he’s responding to his environment. Because he _can_ respond to his environment.”

“You think we’re wrong about how Des caused this?” Cisco asked and Henry shook his head.

“No, I think you’re spot-on. The rapid loss and gain of control shocked Barry into this dream-state. But it also left Barry’s mind open to further manipulation. And this time _Barry_ is the one taking control.”

“I’m lost…” Joe said. “Why would Barry cause himself to age?”

“ _Consciously_ , he wouldn’t,” Caitlin said. “But right now Barry is just dreaming. If he is, for whatever reason, dreaming that he is older… if he truly believes it and now suddenly has control of his body’s autonomic responses, such as cell division, then his body would just be responding in cue. His powers make it all too easy.”

“Then we should put the cuffs on him,” Len interrupted as an idea sparked to life in his mind. Cisco started snapping his fingers and nodding.

“ _Yes_ ,” he said. “If Barry wasn’t a speedster then this kind of rapid cell death and regeneration would be impossible. We could stop him from ageing. Or, slow it down, at least.” Before he’d even finished explaining, Joe fished a pair of the power dampening cuffs out of his pocket, common now for a CCPD employee to carry them along with their regular cuffs, and he shoved them into Caitlin’s hands. She wasted no time in attaching them to Barry’s wrists.

“How do we know if it’s working?” Joe asked, impatient. Henry thought about it for a moment.

“If his fever goes,” he said, “then we know he’s not using his powers anymore.” Len recognised the hope in Henry’s voice and could feel it in his own heart. Was it possible that something so simple, so easy, could really solve this? And so they all pulled up chairs and waited. The tension in the air was thick and suffocating as Caitlin removed the ice packs covering Barry’s body.

Minutes passed, _tens_ of minutes, before Caitlin eventually took Barry’s body temperature.

“104,” she said, smiling. “that’s 10 degrees lower than it was an hour ago. It’s working.”

And, like that, the tension in the room dissipated.

[] [] []

“How much control do you think Barry has?” Cisco asked. Another day had passed now and they were positive that Barry had stopped ageing, but they were constantly taking blood tests to make sure it stayed that way. They seemed much calmer now though and Len took that as a good sign, except…. Barry still showed no signs of waking up. “Because you know how sometimes you can hear a noise IRL and incorporate it into your own dream? Like, say, your alarm clock going off? Well, the other day Len was reading a Song of Ice and Fire book to Barry. So, like, what if Barry starts dreaming he's a dragon? Could he turn into a dragon? No, that’s not possible. Is it?”

Len and Caitlin both glared Cisco’s way.

“Okay, I'll shut up,” he said, raising his hands in surrender. But then a couple of seconds later… “If Barry turns into a white walker, then don’t pretend I didn’t warn you.”

“If Barry turns into a white walker then I will _gladly_ help him take you down,” Caitlin said smoothly and Cisco pulled a breath in through his teeth.

“Ouch, harsh! Okay, remind me never to cross you.” Cait rolled her eyes and they fell into silence as she finished filling the three small vials with Barry’s blood. Len’s doubts were in full force when there was no noise to distract himself. Barry had stopped ageing now, sure, but he was still in a damn coma.

And Len couldn’t deal with it any longer. He thought about grabbing Des and making him heal Barry, but he had his own doubts about whether that would actually work or whether Connor was just playing them. He still hadn’t been down to the pipeline and talked to the man himself yet.

The two scientists left the room and Len was alone with Barry again, with Joe at work and Henry sleeping a few rooms away the silence was suffocating, and all he wanted was for Barry to just open his eyes. He just wanted to see that green again. Len held one of Barry’s hands in both of his own and brought it to his lips.

Barry had been asleep for nearly a week now and Len was struggling with it. Not that he would admit that. Except, this time, for the first time since Barry had fallen into this coma, Len couldn’t bottle it up. He was anxious, and tired, and lonely, and it all just overflowed from him.

“I can’t do this,” Len blurted out.

He wished that Barry could hear him and reply. He wished he could hear Barry voice again, see his smile, hear his laughter. He wished he could have Barry by his side with Lewis’ trial looming over his head.

“I know it’s not right to dump this on your shoulders, but I need you there, Barry,” he admitted. “I need you at my side. I don’t think I can deal with the trial _and_ you being in a coma. Not at the same time. It’s just too much. I need you to wake up, Barry.”

Len closed his eyes, and his words came out like a prayer.

“Please… _wake up_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't even started the next chapter yet, so I can't promise that it'll be posted next week - sorry. I'm also editing my plan again (why can I never finish a fic without changing the ending 10 million times???) so the chapter count may go up or down :/
> 
> Anyway, I'd love to hear from you guys so drop me a comment :)


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